How to set limits on children aged 1 to 3 years

When the child begins to walk and explore the environment, the need to set limits🇧🇷 She needs the adult to teach her what can and cannot be done. But imposing limits is just as difficult as accepting them. It implies deciding: “What is my child capable of deciding on his own and what should be left to my discretion?” What to do if he does not obey? Reinforce the warning, threaten, yell, hit? What if he – or you – loses control?

Some standards may be appropriate for one age group but not for another. Thus, the more we know about child development, the easier it will be to exercise the role of authority. About the 1 to 3 year old child, for example: how does he see the world? What should be expected of her in relation to discipline?

At this stage, the little one lives a transformation process to become independent. He has his own will, he no longer accepts total control over his life, he wants to do everything alone and in his own way. At other times, he asks for a lap and doesn’t like to let you out of his sight. If you treat him like a baby, you will be holding back his development, as the child learns from experience. On the other hand, it is necessary to say “no” in the face of dangerous situations – going out into the street, playing with the plug, touching the hot oven – and to attitudes that could hurt the other – hitting people, throwing things at the younger brother, pulling the cat’s tail. Intellectual development at this stage is different from that of an older child. Their memory is not yet fully developed, so the rules need to be repeated several times.

Challenges and frustrations

The child does not understand the cause and effect relationship. He is able to climb a ladder and only later realize that he does not know how to go down. He also doesn’t want to wait a minute: he wants to eat the ice cream right away and complains about the delay in taking out the paper.

Everyday challenges are frustrating. She often wants to do things she can’t yet, and this can cause tantrums, common at this age. If her son hits her, she doesn’t want to fight back so “he can feel what he’s like”. There is still no connection between his feelings and hers. He even attacks because he doesn’t have enough vocabulary to express himself. It will be better to try to find out the causes of the reaction and help him to use words when manifesting himself: “To hit, no! I know you’re mad at Mom because I won’t let you jump from that height. But you can jump here, on this cushion.”

The child’s language sometimes masks his understanding of reality. She uses words without knowing their real meaning and doesn’t understand the look of disapproval when you say, “But you promised Mom that…” So, it’s not good to apply strict discipline. This radicalization will generate a lot of battle and lack of love. The challenge is to use creativity so that the child wants the same thing as you.