How to read someone’s emotions in their eyes

Reading someone’s emotions in their eyes is something we can all do. After all, the gaze is the part of the human being that communicates the most, the one that transmits the most and with which we connect most intensely. Understanding all those non-verbal clues inscribed in the eyes of others will allow us to intuit, for example, falsehood, sincerity or the magic of attraction.

Bécquer said that whoever can speak with his eyes can even kiss with his eyes. The magnetism of these organs is such that sometimes we are not aware of all the secrets they hide. In this way, although many of our behaviors, acts and words can be filtered by social conditioning and our will, the gaze expresses a type of language that we cannot always control.

There are so many and so subtle nuances that characterize the behavior of our eyes that it is always interesting to know more information about it. Thus, we can go deeper into the minds of others or read your emotions in an effective way.

How to read emotions in the eyes

The eyes express the emotions that a person experiences.

Let’s think about something for a moment. If there is something we dedicate a good part of our time to, it is communicating with other people.. We do it almost always face to face, seeking eye contact with the other, however, we pay greater attention to the oral message, to the word, to the quality of the dialogue.

It should also be said that, In recent years, with the arrival of new technologies and immediate messaging systems, the style of communication has changed. We no longer need to have anyone in front of us to tell us something. Now, we can even convey our joy, love or anger through an emoticon. All this is neither good nor bad, it is just different and, above all, faster.

«The eyes are the point where soul and body mix»

-Friedrich Hebbel-

However, With this we miss out on being able to read the emotions of others in their eyes.. We deprive ourselves of that pleasure, of that mystery that is revealing, based on tiny gestures and magical nuances, the quality or complexity of our relationships.

The eyes are a great source of information that we must learn to read. If someone attracts us, the pupil dilates. Our gaze also widens when we are surprised; it goes in a direction when we try to remember something; or low when we remain suspended in a state of introspection. Let’s now see how to interpret these changes.

1. The blinks

When we talk about the language of the eyes we are not just referring to the eyeball and the pupil. The great expressive power of our gaze is orchestrated above all by a complex network of nerves and muscles. that intervene in the movement of the eyebrows, eyelids, temples, etc.

All of this reflects the emotional activation of each moment, where blinking also fulfills its function. For example, When something surprises us, outrages us, or even angers us, we tend to blink a lot moreA study published in Psychophysiology indicates that blinking appears at the beginning and end of information processing. This can help us determine the level of attention that our interlocutor may be paying us. Likewise, it is also common to blink a lot when we interact with someone we like or when we are thinking about many things at the same time.

All of this may seem contradictory to us, but it is worth knowing that this act, blinking more intensely than normal, It is a mechanism that the brain activates when it feels more nervous than usual. Therefore, if we want to read the emotions of others through their eyes, it is important to focus on the context or the conversation we are having at that moment.

Blinking is a non-verbal signal of emotional processing.

2. The language of the pupils

Our pupils dilate when we see something stimulating or have low light. If something or someone attracts us, it is common for the pupil to enlarge. Researchers say pupil dilation may be linked to increased attractiveness and approach behavior. However, when we feel offended or see something that outrages us, the pupil constricts.

Another research published in the journal Psychophysiology indicates that the size of the pupils changes when viewing arousing images, regardless of whether they are pleasant or not.

3. Squint

When we want to avoid contact with something that causes us fear or displeasure (disgust), we tend to squint as a protective mechanism. We can also squint when we are very angry, in order to sharpen our vision more.

Closing the eyes can also indicate that the person is emotionally processing a situation. This is due to the activation of the amygdala. Research published in PLoS One found that Amygdala activation increases when we listen to emotional music with our eyes closed.

4. Visual synchrony

Reading the emotions of the people we like through the eyes is something we all want to be able to master. However, sometimes It is not necessary to be an expert in non-verbal language to perceive the harmony that at any given moment we can establish with a friend, the person we are attracted to or even with a family member.

When it comes to attraction, the look can tell us a lot, for example, if what the other person feels is love or just lust. A study carried out by Jhon Cacioppo shows that stimuli associated with love generate greater fixations on the face. On the other hand, those related to lust caused greater ocular fixation on the body.

Returning to the topic of tuning, a curious fact about it is that When two people “connect” a visual synchrony is also establishedthat is, the visual gestures are mimicked and the same micro-expressions are set in motion.

5. The timing of eye contact

Eye contact is very suggestive, especially when we analyze its duration. It is not the same time we spend looking at that person we are attracted to, as we spend looking at someone we dislike. In the first case, we spend more time looking and seeking eye contact; In the second, we don’t even feel like looking and if we do, it is for a very short period.

This way, Eye contact can be used, in integration with other non-verbal signals, as an indicator of attraction between two people.as Allan and Barbara Pease point out in their book Body language: how to interpret others through their gestures. When affection is mutual, looks are not enough and time is not enough.

6. Avoid eye contact

The authors of the book Non-Verbal Behavior: Beyond Communication and Language A person looks away when they have a shy, submissive or unfriendly character. You can also do it when you want to end an interaction.

Likewise, the same authors maintain, the lack of eye contact, along with other non-verbal signals, It can denote a lack of interest or little desire to interact with other people.

7. Looks to the sides: shy and liars

Usually when people tell the truth they are able to maintain eye contact.

We have all experienced it at some point, either when talking to a child or a very insecure person. Instead of maintaining direct eye contact, they escape from the sidesin those corners where they do not meet our face, in those spaces where we are only attended to from the corner of the eye, where they take refuge in their extreme shyness… There are studies that suggest that people with a shy personality are prone to evade eye contact with others .

Now, it is notable to note that the lying personality also has elusive eyes. It is not something as obvious as when we have a shy profile or social anxiety, and therefore, we must pay maximum attention when reading their emotions and intentions.

In criminal and legal contexts, there are researchers who point out that When a person lies in an interview, their eye contact is low. On the other hand, when they speak sincerely it increases and takes up between 30% and 60% of the total time.

The eyes provide a large amount of information

To conclude, as we have been able to observe, the eyes, Looks and eye contact transmit a remarkable and wide variety of social and emotional information that sometimes escapes us and that is not always easy to interpret.

The eyes are that window to the soul that shows us the emotions that reside therein. It is worth delving deeper into the world of communication and non-verbal language, as it allows us to get much closer to that inner dimension of others that is not manifested through words.

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