Emotions and their motivations

Emotions lead us to act, And since ancient times it was believed that they are determining factors in our behavior. Today we know much more, we know that emotions fill us with energy thanks to the chemical signals that our brain sends to our muscles and organs.

“Emotions are like wild horses. They are not explanations that help us move forward, but our will to move forward.”

-Paulo Coelho-

The motivation of emotions

The only behaviors that are not influenced by emotions are habits. Regardless of whether emotions are conscious or not, it can be said that they have three main motivations:

1. Use

This type of motivation makes us want to have more of something.

The most common achievement emotions are fun, interest, love, trust, and excitement. They increase the value of the person or object you want or love. Their most common behaviors are cooperation, protection, guidance and learning, among others.

2. Evasion

This motivation leads us to avoid any situation that may be of little value to us. or in which we are not interested. Behaviors related to this type of motivation are ignoring, denying, removing or dismissing, among others.

3. Attack

The motivation to attack leads us to devalue, hurt, insult or criticize what we find annoying or harmful.. The behaviors related to this motivation are very variable and can range from manipulation, to desire for domination, abuse or even bullying.

The feelings

Feelings are the most conscious and least understood component of emotions. Unlike basic motivation, which is simpler, feelings are complex, changeable and depend on moods (depression), sensations (pain or cold) and certain physiological states (hunger or tiredness).

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All These states can be confused with emotions., which is why we tend to give a psychological meaning to most annoying sensations. Because discomfort is closer to negative emotions, we focus more on those feelings than on motivations.

“Feelings and emotions are the universal language that must be honored. They are the authentic expression of who we are.”

-Judith Wright-

Feelings are not the goal in themselves, but rather they are a means to attract our attention, so we act based on the motivation generated by the emotion. When we act only based on the motivation generated by emotions, we are not really aware of the feelings..

Many experiences, few feelings

Exploring our feelings can be interesting, but it rarely leads to a change in behavior.

When we become adults, feelings become more complex and it is more difficult to obtain a behavioral benefit. As time passes, we associate a feeling with a memory or experience that was somehow related at the time. However, when we live a similar experience in the “wrong circumstances” then a change can occur.

“If you don’t control your emotional abilities, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you aren’t able to control your stressful emotions, if you can’t have empathy and effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you’re not going to get very far. ”

–Daniel Goleman-