The hard path of heartbreak

Your relationship has broken down and the world has collapsed on you. Maybe you think that you were the culprit or, on the contrary, the other person or perhaps that you were both… In one way or another, Looking for blame in a breakup is a way to avoid facing the situation and the feelings that arise from embarking on the hard path of heartbreak.

Nothing will be like before and that confuses us and hurts us as if we had a thorn stuck in our hearts. The experience of heartbreak is a painful path that must be crossed after putting an end to what was once our dream. Let’s dive into how to do it.

Heartbreak when love has not ended

It is more difficult to leave a relationship when we are still in love and we find ourselves in that cloud of love that surrounds us all when it has disappeared. Because here love has not been the reason for the breakup but rather the contribution of other factors that, if they had been on our side, might have prevented this end that hurts us so much.

As we see Falling out of love is not easy because we do not choose to be with someone and then distance ourselves and break everything we experienced with them. But beyond the decision not to continue with a relationship despite being in love, there is another experience that is even harder and more difficult to face: when our partner leaves us or decides to end the relationship and we have no other option to choose from.

At this moment we may go through a period in which we are not aware of what happened and it is difficult for us to assimilate it. But when we realize it, the world falls on us and we break into a thousand pieces. To rebuild ourselves we will need time, because our wounds have to heal the traces of a love that has not continued as we expected…

Get rid of our love

Being able to forget our love or at least stop feeling it is not an easy task, but a long process. which on most occasions will be accompanied by nostalgia, sadness and sleepless nights. The point is not to place blame or responsibility on anyone since when we fall in love we are taking a risk because we expose ourselves to a series of circumstances that we cannot control, such as the other person not reciprocating our love or at some point deciding not to continue.

Despite this, we have to pay attention because Our unconscious may lead us to do things that we should not do in this situation. Unconscious actions that the more we insist on carrying them out, the more pain they will cause us, such as:

Maintain continuous contact with our ex-partner. Knowing about our ex-partner is not bad at all as long as it is from time to time to make sure that the person we loved so much is okay. The worrying thing comes when this contact is day by day because we may get our hopes up and believe we can get that person back when that is not the case. Obsessing over looking for what we have done wrong or where we have failed so that the relationship has ended. As a general rule, a breakup involves a host of variables and details that are sometimes difficult to detect. There is usually no single reason. The point is not to get entangled in guilt and respect the decision that the other person has made.Hope to return. At first, having hope will be inevitable because any detail will be enough to get us excited. Given this, it is better that we stop to reflect and try to accept what happened without embellishing it. It will take a while, no doubt, but it is the best option if we don’t want to do more damage.Keep the other person’s objects and clothing. Keeping a t-shirt or an object from our ex-partner and occasionally smelling it or holding it anchors us in the past and does not allow us to move forward. One recommendation is to return everything that was not a gift and keep the latter in a safe place until we are ready to see them again.

Thus, avoiding all these actions will help us accept the breakup. We have spent a lot of time with that person, we have shared many moments, it is normal for us to cling to it and even more so when the decision to end was not ours. However, this is no excuse to stay there in that void that consumes and traps us.

The path of heartbreak is a path that we have all had to go through at some point. If we haven’t done it yet, even better for us! But if it has already happened to us, let’s try not to make the same mistakes a second or third time. Let’s not allow heartbreak to sink us and make us suffer more than it should. Accepting it may be hard and painful, but it will prevent much more pain than we think.

Images courtesy of Lauri Blanck, Cheryl Lond, Trendhunter