How to make real friends

Good friendships help improve all aspects of your life. On the one hand, they help to have a more joyful and comfortable life. On the other hand, friendly relationships help strengthen health and prevent loneliness and isolation. As we age, many of us struggle to make friends or maintain old friendships.

But work, family and other commitments can make this complicated. Although Making and keeping friends requires effort, it is an investment that makes life richer and more pleasant.. Whatever your age or circumstances, it is never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old friends.

What is a friend?

A friend is someone you care about and who also cares about you.. Technology may have changed the definition of a friend in recent yearsBut having hundreds of friends online is not the same as having one friend you can connect with and spend time with in person.

However, friends made through social networks or other virtual means cannot hug each other when needed, nor can they visit each other in case of illness, or celebrate something important together. Thinking now only about people with whom we can connect in person, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between true friends and those who are simply acquaintances.

We could say that An acquaintance is someone you know and with whom you chat from time to time about everyday topics.. These relationships, in general, never advance beyond that, of merely getting to know each other and knowing a little about each other, but without going deeper.

However, a friend with whom you share a higher level of interaction and communication, with whom you share your feelings openly. Friends listen to each other without judging each other, support and accept each other and, above all, are united by a bond of trust and loyalty.

Why it is important to have friends

The need to have friends is adaptive. There was a time when survival depended on having friends to hunt and find food, to build housing and keep families safe, and to have company.

Nowadays, good friends are just as important. They add special meaning to life. With them you can enjoy the good times and overcome the difficult times. Good friendships, in addition to being a great source of fun and pleasure, are also important for physical and emotional health.

Good friends can help improve your moodto achieve personal and professional goals thanks to your support and motivation and to reduce stress and depression thanks to your company.

In addition, good friends support each other in difficult times, helping to overcome situations of illness, loss, breakups, etc. Furthermore, as you get older, friends are a great support to overcome everything that age brings with it and help you live more fully.

Of course, friendship is a two-way street.. On the one hand, being a good friend to someone, in addition to having all these benefits, increases one’s own happiness and sense of self-esteem. It also makes the person feel needed and adds purpose to their life. Developing and maintaining a friendship takes time and effort, but the many benefits of having a close friend make it a valuable investment and worth the effort.

Making friends in adulthood

During childhood and adolescence making friends is quite easy, but as we get older each person evolves differently. As adults, we tend to become more and more reserved and have less time to share with other people.

Many adults experience the need to make new friends because family and work commitments have caused them to lose contact with old friends, or lifelong friendships have simply faded due to different circumstances.

To make friends, age or situation does not matter, if you are a particularly extroverted person or if you are the life of the party to make friends.. The important thing is to realize that there are many people who feel uncomfortable relating to each other in the way that many others do, and that a friendship is not forged during a night out or in an occasional celebration that brings together many people.

Building a friendship takes time. However, being willing to get in touch with new people in new environments is positive to meet new people and take the first step to build a friendship relationship.

Tips for making friends and building new friendships

If you find it difficult to make friends or build new friendships, here are some tips that can help you and help you take that first step that is costing you so much. Don’t be afraid to put them into practice. With initiative and willpower, you will soon have new friends around you.

1. Look for places and situations where you can meet new people

Friendships don’t happen in a day, but there are some steps you can take to connect with another. To start, it is important to look for places to meet new people, be open to new ideas, and cultivate personal interests with other people.. You won’t always be successful, but it will often be fun and you can learn from the experience.

Some ideas for this could be participating in volunteer activities, joining an association or signing up for group classes, going for a walk, inviting someone you know to drink or do something, carpooling to work, attending events and social gatherings, such as art gallery openings, book readings, conferences, music recitals, etc.

2. Participate in a conversation

Some people seem to instinctively know how to start a conversation with anyone, anywhere. Those who do not have that talent can follow the following ideas:

Observe your surroundings and take advantage of any opportunity to comment on something that happens or what there is in that place (for example, “what beautiful views there are from here”, “have you tried this dish?” or “I love this song, it brings back very good memories”). Ask an open question that requires a answer beyond yes or no (for example, “when did you get here?”, “why did you decide to do this?” or “what is this place like?”).Use a compliment to ask a question (for example , “I really like your dress, where did you buy it?” or “It looks like you’ve done this before, can you tell me where I should go?”).Find something in common and make a comment about it (for example, “my children also went to that school, and I was very satisfied” or “I read that book a long time ago, I found it very interesting). Actively listen and follow the other’s conversation.

If things don’t go well and the conversation gets stuck or ends earlier than expected, nothing happens either.. Meeting new people means suffering some rejection. But you shouldn’t take it personally. You can always learn something positive from the experience.

3. Be a good friend

Making friends takes time. To make that happen, we must nourish the relationship with the people we know by dedicating time, effort and interest to the other person.

To do this you have to behave like the friend you would like to have, listen carefully to the other, dedicate time to others and be indulgent with the other. Besides, It is essential to leave spacedo not go overboard with interest and do not have very high expectations regarding the other or the friendship relationship.

You might be interested…