How to help an insecure person

We have all, at some point in our lives, felt insecure. Especially when we are faced with challenging situations. However, In some people, insecurity is part of their personality, which causes them a lot of discomfort.

Having said that, If we recognize this trait in a loved one, it is important that we know how to support them. This is why below we present the best way to help an insecure person.

Characteristics of an insecure person

According to the American Psychological Association, insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy, lack of self-confidence, and inability to cope with various situations.

Generally, insecure people They do not feel capable and fear that others will judge them or discover all their weaknesses. This promotes states of shyness, paranoia or social isolation.

On the other hand, Insecurity can lead to compensatory behaviors such as aggression, arrogance or narcissism.. In these cases, it is common for people to be very critical of others, mock or make humorous comments in order to put the other person down. In this way, highlighting the defects of others becomes a failed attempt to raise your own self-esteem.

Insecure people usually have many doubts both about how to act and about themselves.

Tips to help an insecure person

If you recognize these characteristics in a friend, partner or family member, the ideal is that you know how to support them. Therefore, below we show you some strategies to help an insecure person.

1. Be empathetic

Being empathetic consists of Identify the feelings and thoughts of others, and experience them as if they were our own.. In other words, it involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes in order to genuinely understand them.

That said, if we want to help an insecure person, The first thing we must do is understand your situation. To do this, it is ideal that we understand where their insecurities come from. In general, this trait usually develops in the first years of life, especially in upbringing and bonding with primary caregivers.

Understanding this, We can inquire with the person about their childhood and adolescence.. Talking about it will not only help us understand, but also the person, to be aware of the origin of his personality.

For its part, let’s avoid judging or criticizing. Insecure people place excessive value on the opinions of others. The ideal is that we are in tune with their feelings and thoughts, that we listen carefully and that we show interest in their problems.

2. Ask how you can help

Our intentions may be the best, but if they do not correspond to what the person needs, then we are not really helping. That said, it is useful that we ask her what is the best way to support her at that moment.

Sometimes, Maybe he just wants us to listen to him, maybe he wants to express himself in another way, or you may simply need us to do something small to help. This is also what empathy is about, recognizing what the person needs at that moment.

3. Know your insecurities

This doesn’t mean putting up with complaints about your hang-ups or shortcomings. Is about ask you to tell us what is worrying you, how exactly you feel and what people she thinks are criticizing her. This will also help us understand your situation.

Take time to listen to their response and make the person feel supported. He may say he feels anxious about work, school, or her physical appearance. The important thing is to listen and be open to what they say..

The ideal is Find out what worries her and analyze, together with her, what is real and what is not. Generally, insecure people believe that others speak badly of them, or that they are not capable enough to face a certain situation, but in reality this is not the case. In these cases, we will be dealing with a paranoid idea, therefore, it is important that we make him understand that it is not true.

4. Highlight your strengths

Another way to help an insecure person is by making them see their positive qualities. She tends to be very critical of herself and is blinded by a great bias of negativity. In this sense, Our task is to show all your talents and abilities. With this we will help her build security and self-confidence.

5. Model self-compassion

Self-compassion is being kind to ourselves, not punish ourselves for our past decisions and accept that we are humans who make mistakes. Contrary to this, A characteristic of insecure people is an obsession with perfectionism.That is, they want to do everything as well as possible. And, if they don’t achieve it, then they are worthless.

The problem is that they never achieve perfection and become frustrated, which drives their self-esteem to sink further. Thus, We must let them know that no one is perfect. Even great achievers make mistakes.

Let’s help the insecure person to be aware that making mistakes is an important process in life, as it allows us to learn and develop personally. We can show you which mistakes have taught us lessons and that, if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t be where we are.

6. Be patient

If we want to help an insecure person, it is important that we cultivate patience. He is likely to begin to complain about what he believes is happening to him and express a series of biased thoughts, such as that he is worthless, that he is useless, etc. Besides, You may defend yourself with hurtful comments or negative criticism towards us..

Whatever the attitude, we must be patient and understand that it is about your personal functioning. This may be the hardest part, but if we give up the first time, we won’t be able to help.

Understanding how the insecure person works will help us know how to act with them.

7. Encourage her to seek professional help

As much as we want to help an insecure person, sometimes our efforts are not always enough. Many people have these traits so ingrained that they require a therapist to overcome them.. A mental health specialist is best suited to address these types of problems.

For it, prevents attending therapy from seeming like an obligation. You can present to her the benefits of attending therapy and how it can help her reduce her discomfort.

To conclude, it is important to emphasize that, sometimes, Helping an insecure person is not an easy task.. Especially if he or she is reluctant. However, it is not impossible. Remember that the support of the environment is vital for them to overcome their problems.

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