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Can personality be changed?

We tend to believe that we “are” a certain way from the moment we are born. and that is impossible to modify. However, we have the ability to generate certain changes in our personality and thus become better people or have more bearable relationships. It’s just a matter of committing to yourself.

It is the very language we use that is complicit in this perception of immutability. The verb “to be” acts as a condemnation, because “to be” points to an essence that can always be defined in another way, shaped with other edges.

Personality is forged over time

Unlike what we consider, personality is not a static and immobile entity, but it can be shaped according to external stimuli and everything that surrounds us. From the moment we are born, we are incorporating habits, experiences and even traumas that forge our character.

The truth is As the years go by our attitudes tend to always be the same -or very similar- and we end up believing that the personality has been marked with fire and, as if it were a tattoo, it is forever.

But we have the possibility of modifying the traits that we do not like so much and improve the relationship we have with ourselves and with others. Although it is easier to “move pieces” of the personality when we are children or adolescents, we can also see positive results in adulthood.

Even if you think that “at your age” it is impossible to change, we recommend that you think twice before believing this statement. Maybe the changes won’t be as overwhelming or tangible, but there will be changes, you can be sure of that. These slight interventions in our character can be the ones that help us live happier and to be better people.

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Small changes in personality bring us happiness

It is not necessary to suffer a serious personality disorder to go to therapy and begin to modify our attitudes towards what surrounds us. The changes are positive and necessary, we cannot always remain standing in the same position. Remember the phrase that says “be like the river that flows and does not stagnate” and apply it in your daily life.

Or were you the same person 2, 5 or 10 years ago? And we are not talking about height, weight or experience, nor about studies completed or achievements achieved. Surely, What you liked when you were young is not the same as what you like today. or vice versa. So why do we cling to thinking that personality doesn’t mutate either?

The first step of change

If you have wondered if you can change your personality, it may be because your way of acting or being is ruining your relationships with others or with yourself. You have already taken the first step of wanting to improve… Congratulations! Now the stage of asking for help and following advice begins that you probably won’t like but that, ultimately, will help you achieve your goal.

Most people who are in the same situation as you want to change a specific trait of their personality. We are not talking about you becoming someone completely opposite to what you were.but to improve those aspects that are not entirely positive.

Your loved ones may have pointed out to you that you are somewhat selfish, that you are easily distracted, that you cannot make appropriate decisions, or that your tardiness is excessive. Now you have something to work on!

Dare to modify your personality

All the changes you want to make in your character will take time and effort.. It is not a matter of “blowing and making bottles”, as the popular saying goes. Nor about getting up in the morning and being a different person, but about walking a difficult path, with many obstacles to overcome and situations that will test you.

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Be very patient, lean on those you love, be persistent and above all trust in your abilities. This is essential in a company that can be very complicated, that will bring you tears, anger and disappointment. But you have already begun to walk a path towards transformation, improvement and transcendence.

“Between the shores of pain and pleasure flows the river of life. Only when the mind refuses to flow with life does it stagnate at the edges and become a problem. “Flow means acceptance, letting what comes and letting go of what goes.”

-Sri Nisargadatta Maharj-

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