How to get over the death of a dog

If you have recently lost your dog, it is normal to feel sad; It is not an easy process. Grief over the death of an animal is still little visible in our society, but remember that you have the right to experience this loss that is so significant for you. How to get over the death of a dog?

As we said, it is not an easy task. And the death of a dog (or a cat, or another animal we love) can be as hard as that of a family member. In fact, a study by Harris Interactive found that 90% of dog and cat owners in the United States consider their dog as another member of the family. So it is no wonder to feel pain in the face of a loss like this. How to deal with it?

Grieving for an animal

Although we always talk about grief and associate it with the death of a loved person, the truth is that the concept of grief is broad and refers precisely to any type of significant loss in our life. This includes the death of an animal. Therefore, we also grieve our animals because we have loved them and when they die, they represent a significant loss for us.

Although it is not talked about as much, it is important to recognize this type of grief, talk about it and make it visible. A loss like this can shake our emotional world, and it is important that we find validation for our emotions of sadness and anger, as well as travel this path with the necessary help.

The loss of a pet can be one of the most difficult moments in a person’s life.

Keys to overcoming the death of a dog

It is not easy to face this situation. A dog is another member of the family, he is a friend, a life partner. Even a group of Japanese researchers, through a 2015 study published in Science, defined the close connection between humans and pets as a perpetual infatuation. Therefore let us understand the magnitude of the loss.

So, today we want to share with you some small strategies to overcome the death of a dog. And although each case is different, these can help you navigate the first moments after the loss.

1. What matters is what you feel, not what others tell you

When faced with the death of an animal, or a companion animal, it seems that grief is not as validated (and is largely made invisible, as if we did not have as much of a “right” to mourn the loss of our animal) as others are. type of duels.

Perhaps you receive comments that invalidate your emotions, such as “it’s no big deal”, “he was just a dog”, etc. They are comments that do not help at all, that hurt and that make negatively valenced emotions even more hegemonic in our emotional state. Remember that you have the right to feel how you feel.

2. Understand the phases of grief

The phases of grief proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross are already well known. They also occur in mourning the death of a dog. Of course, these phases do not have to appear linearly or in the same order (nor do we have to go through them all), but it is important to know what they are and recognize them in ourselves:

Denial.Anger.Sadness.Bargaining.Acceptance.

Understand how you may feel can help you channel these emotions. For example, understanding that at first the shock (denial); In this state “you don’t believe” that your dog is no longer there, that you will never see him again. You even still hope that he comes to greet you when you get home. It’s normal, give yourself time.

3. Let go of guilt

Guilt also appears many times in grief. If your dog has gone through an illness, he has had some problem that you did not detect in time or, even if none of this has happened, guilt usually appears. Because guilt in a way is independent of what has happened and is always linked to what we believed we could have done to avoid the loss.

It is an emotional state that we must work on, because no, it is not your fault that your dog has died; and even if it was, let’s say, an accident in which you had something to do (for example), remember that you never had bad intentions. Little by little, free yourself from that guilt, because it will make it very difficult for you to heal.

4. Surround yourself with people who can understand you

Another tip on how to get over the death of a dog is to surround yourself with people who have been through the same thing as you. Maybe you can go to a therapeutic grouplook for information in an internet forum, in a group or association, ask friends you know who have gone through the same thing as you…

And if for whatever reason this is not possible, at least try to surround yourself with people who empathize with you, who validate your emotions and who do understand what you are going through (or, at the very least, who respect it). Selecting people with whom we feel comfortable in a difficult time like this can be very healing and is also an act of self-care and self-love.

5. Do a small farewell ritual

Rituals are actions that symbolize something for us and rituals have always been used to say goodbye to our loved ones. You just need to think about funerals, for example. Thus, If you feel like you need it, say goodbye to your dog. however you feel; You can write a letter, spread his ashes in a beautiful place… Something that reminds you of him and that allows you to close this stage of your life.

Writing a letter to your lost pet can be liberating.

Overcome or integrate the loss?

We have provided some ideas on how to overcome the death of a dog, although it is interesting to reflect at the same time on the language we use to talk about emotions. And, rather than overcoming, we could talk about facing, managing or moving through.

Although in everyday language we use the concept of “overcoming” a lot, the truth is that we integrate the losses in our lives and never forget them, because they are part of our history. On the other hand, it is an integration in which we are constantly making adjustments.

Remember…

Remember that your pain is legitimate, and that you should not control or deny it. Listen to what you need at each moment and allow yourself to cry and be bad. These are necessary processes to heal and complete the grieving process.; and when this moment comes, you will remember your dog with nostalgia and infinite love, but no longer with that intense pain.

Do not rush to reach this acceptance, and understand that it is normal that it costs you, since surely your dog was much more than a loved one, a friend and a life partner.

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