How to find love after breakup

Many people don’t break up because they think they’ll never find another partner again. Others don’t break up, because they think it’s too much work to start over.

While others separate only when they are already attached to another relationship. There are those, still, who leave with their agenda taken up by ballads, appointments with friends and all the dating apps installed.

There is also the other side, of those who have not decided to separate, but their partner has. And in addition to having to deal with rejection and abandonment, fears of being alone also haunt.

All this is the effect of what I call “dictatorship of love”.

It seems that if the person is not “loving”, he is not in a relationship, he is not dating anyone, he is not complete, he has a problem or he is affectively incapable.

Instead of giving yourself time, waiting for your pain to pass, entering a state of reflection and acceptance of yourself, you feel charged, impelled, almost forced to find a partner – as if this validated your existence.

Is it necessary to find love right after a breakup?

Loving is good, dating is good, having a company It is also good! Yes, of course it is!

But when we talk about all this right after a breakup, we are also talking about the difficulty for so many people to be in touch with their wounds.

No one needs to be locked up. It’s good to unwind, have some fun, take a break from lonelinessthe pain of those first months after the separation.

However, wanting to engage a new relationship during this period without airing the feelings, it is practically the same as denying the pain. It’s denying the so natural nuisance that affects all those who have just separated.

And when we do not experience this period of griefthis pain remains latent and will appear up front, when some event brings to light everything that was left to feel or cry.

Even if there is no more love in that relationshipthe loss does not only concern the partner: they are dreams that are being left behind, a life project, eventually living with other dear people from the ex’s family, an established routine that conveyed some security.

Stopping to say goodbye to everything you are losing is to mourn the separation in its fullness..

How to start over

Each person finds their own way and it is desirable that they make good reflections, a kind of affective accounting to “clear the box” of the heart and, finally, to feel ready to restart.

You have to be at peace and with your heart unoccupied from the previous relationship so that you don’t fall into the trap of comparisons, so that you don’t want to continue the previous relationship, only with another character.

No one arrives ready in our life. A relationship is building, and intimacy has its time to mature.

The anxiety of wanting restart it is a great enemy, because it clouds our perception. The eagerness to want to date and rebuild your affective life quickly can be crowned with many mistakes and illusions about who the new partner is.

The risk of having to face a new separation in the short term is not small.

a good dose of love for yourselffeel that you rescued the self esteem and that the times of affective recollection have come to an end are the great signs that the ground is fertile to receive a new love.

Pause is not mandatory

In some cases, this maturation of separation takes place within the relationship itself.
Sometimes, before the separation, the person has already experienced this griefis already certain that there is no possibility of continuing that coexistence and feels ready to welcome a new love.

In other cases, the relationship has entered a period of inertia, in which the couple is together for the sake of being. They go on living their lives without realizing the emptiness and loneliness they are immersed in, until one of the two proposes to disconnect.

For those who propose it, it is already clear that there is no way forward together.

For the other, who was forced to leave the comfort zone, the fright can be great, but he quickly realizes that his heart was already empty and it will not be difficult to find the joy of returning to a more productive and emotional affective life.

How to find love after breakup?

With a light heart and eager to share the best portion that exists within each of us! Unhurried. Aware that he deserves a renewed affective life and added to the experiences lived, which tell us how not to repeat the same mistakes and so that the next relationship is as long and harmonious as possible.