How to educate without knocking

It has been believed for many years that using a few spankings to teach children what not to do is the best way to educate. However, this method, in addition to being violent, is very negative, as it exalts what was done wrong, calling even more attention to that type of attitude.

Reasons for not resorting to aggression

Children when they are beaten, taking spanking or even more violent punishments, is not mature enough and discerning enough to relate the punishment to its cause. In this way the child ends up being traumatized for being suffering for an unknown reason.

In addition to not working as method of educating, violence begets even more violence. If your child is beaten at home, he may want to hit his classmates at school or be violent towards them in other ways. The child who is beaten sees that the parents get what they want through violence and this can become something natural for the child. The child will think that when he wants something, just use force and he will get it.

Another factor that must be taken into account in education of your child is that verbal aggression it is also violence. If you yell at him, he’ll want to yell even louder, which won’t solve the problem. Using profanity or being cruel with words, for example saying that your child “can’t do anything right” can have serious negative psychological consequences.

Still, the child, when educated through aggression, learns to be controlled only with the use of force. So it is possible that in the future the consequences will be even worse, as children become outlaw adults. It is also sad to know that these children who do not learn to respect the limits just because they exist, they will learn to respect them by suffering retaliation and punishment during adulthood.

Even if you were spanked as a child and believe that it did not harm you, do not deprive your child of receiving a more evolved and less aggressive education. Just like you probably wouldn’t want him to get paddles at schoolconsider alternative and more current means of education that do not involve physical punishment.

How to educate without knocking

THE best way to teach your child what he can and cannot do is through dialogue and being firm and disciplined in what he says. Punishments such as leaving the child without a favorite toy for a week help to curb that behavior temporarily, but do not have much effect in the future.

The child needs to learn without punishment that there are rules that must be respected. As cruel as it may seem at times, the house rules must also be respected by the parents and so the children will suffer less in the future, when the rules are imposed by other people and the government, for example, as they will probably not have ” pity” for your child.

Children often repeat certain behavior incessantly and parents have to say the same thing over and over again: “What you did is not cool”. However, this happens because in the children’s world there is still not much logic and they cannot discern cause and consequence. That’s why it’s important to be consistent and patient, repeating as many times as necessary the dialogue to educate.

It is important for parents to be aware that defying rules is part of the child’s growth and that they should not get carried away by it by getting excited. They must stand firm and talk to the child.

With the little ones, between 1 and 4 years old, the ideal is to say that it shouldn’t be done and always praise the appropriate behavior. With children between 5 and 6 years old, it is recommended to leave them without a toy they like for a while. The older ones, between 7 and 9 years old, can be asked to reflect on their own attitude. 1 minute is suggested for each year of life, for example 6 minutes for a 6 year old.

a suggestion for teach children from an early age to understand and respect rules is to create a combination wall, with rules that they propose and the parents as well. Make some rules for yourself to show that you obey them and encourage your children. You can also simply reward correct behaviors, such as putting a little star next to the child’s name for each praiseworthy behavior they have. Always prefer to exalt positive attitudes over negative ones.

Remember that when they are small it is easy to hit and punish the children aggressively. But this can backfire on you when they grow up, and even worse, this child may have to be disciplined by society as an adult. So always think carefully before using force. Use dialogue and be close to your son or daughter, allowing them to always count on you as someone who loves and protects them and not an enemy who attacks them.