How to deal with a gossip or rumor?

How many times have we been told something about a person we know? Surely quite a few… In fact, how many times have we told a friend or family member something about another person? Many others… Talking about other people’s lives is quite common. Regardless of whether it is appropriate or not – we all know that it is not the best -, the intention that is put into this type of comments is essential to know what is intended with them.

However, what can we do when we hear a rumor? How to act when faced with gossip or criticism? We will see it below.

We are surrounded by criticism and rumors

Criticism, rumors and gossip are something so common in our daily lives that they may often go unnoticed among us, not because of their content but because of the fact that they are broadcast. There are even a large number of proverbs that refer to this type of comments such as:

“The gossiper hears a small breeze and turns it into a cyclone” “Sow a gossip and you will reap a harvest of sorrows” “Not everyone repeats the gossip they hear, others improve it”

Thus, we cannot deny that criticism, rumors and gossip form a destructive group, and that in many cases, generate instant interest. Each one of them suffers distortions over time, as they travel from word to mouth, most of the time having unforeseen consequences.

What can we do in these situations?

To explain how we can act, it occurs to me to tell you the dialogue of Socrates, known as “The Triple Filter”:

“An acquaintance approached Socrates to tell him something about one of his friends, but Socrates, before listening to him, decided to give him a small test, the triple filter test.

Socrates decided to filter what that acquaintance was going to tell him about his friend through three different filters:

The filter of truthThe filter of goodnessThe filter of usefulness.

For it, He asked three questions related to each of the filters:

Are you absolutely sure that what you are going to tell me is true? (Truth Filter) Is what you are going to tell me about my friend something good? (Filter of kindness)Will what you are going to tell me about my friend be useful to me? (Utility Filter)

After the acquaintance admitted that he was not sure if what he was going to tell him was true, nor was it good and would not be useful, Socrates concluded that why tell him then?

In summary, A useful strategy to carry out in the face of gossip, criticism or rumor would be to apply this triple filter. Not only when we receive a comment, but also when we tell it, we can put it into practice. Forward!

When we are the victim of gossip

On the other hand, we find ourselves with a scenario in which others are the ones spreading gossip or rumors about us. In these cases, we must also know how to act to prevent the situation from getting worse.

Thus, The first thing we must do is break the chain. To do this, the ideal is to ask the person who told us if they are willing to maintain that statement in the presence of the gossiper, in order to confront it and resolve it.

Avoid making decisions based on the feedback you received. If you know who was responsible for spreading the rumor about you, don’t wait passively for someone else to deny or clarify it. Instead, when you have the chance, talk to the person and ask them why they said those things about you.

In addition, Try to stay calm and avoid using the same words or emotional tone as the gossiper.. If not, you are likely to feed the credibility of what the other person is saying about you.

You might be interested…