How to Control Your Baby’s Crying and Crying

It’s not just to let them know that the diaper is dirty or that they’re hungry that little ones go out into the world. Also when they feel irritable, tired or bored, they express dissatisfaction opening the howl. In these circumstances, crying is a marker of vitality and health. It would be worrying if, with so many discomforts, your child still remained quiet, without showing any reaction. The child’s protests are strange only if they reveal a continuous state of malaise. If the baby is not sick and, despite receiving all the care it is entitled to, it does not calm down with anything, it is necessary to find out what provokes this behavior, without expecting that it will change on its own over time. “When irritation is permanent, the baby sleeps little and is impatient and nervous most of the time he is awake, it is necessary to investigate what should be changed in the routine or in the way you relate to him”, says pediatrician Roberto Santoro Almeida.

Complicity and acceptance

As in all affective relationships, the affinity between mother and child also needs to be built. It depends on proximity and a lot of observation. “Just by being present and following how the baby reacts to different situations, it is possible to understand his behavior pattern, the things that calm him down and what motivates his more nervous reactions. Maybe his temperament and rhythm don’t match that of the house and family. So, it is normal that, in this meeting, both the parents and the child need some time to adapt and discover a common denominator”, warns psychoanalyst Silvana Rabello.
A watchful eye and intuition itself are the best maternal allies in building this complicity. “First-time parents are often bombarded with countless ready-made recipes and guesses about the best way to raise their child. However, the most important thing is to trust your own perceptions, understanding that that baby is a unique being and that the cries and signs of irritation are the way he has to communicate that something is not going well”, explains child psychologist Ana Cristina Marzolla.

delicate balance

Believe me: to calm your child, it is essential that you also have your emotions up to date. And this becomes easier when you find time for yourself that you can dedicate to leisure or some relaxing activity. The mother who has a good support network, made up of people willing to help and guide her about taking care of the little one, also tends to be calmer. A pediatrician and gynecologist can minimize concerns about health, and family members, a nanny or even an experienced housekeeper ease the burden of tasks. If the mother feels safe and calm, she naturally conveys her well-being to her child. “Children are easily influenced by the emotions of adults and their mood swings accordingly. It’s a circle: calm parents transmit confidence and tranquility to their children, while those who are more tense and insecure make children irritable and susceptible”, explains Ana Cristina. The quality of the relationship with the other people in the house also makes a difference. Any fight or argument, even if it doesn’t directly affect the child, can influence his behavior. “Disagreements are part of life, but when they become constant, they affect the baby”, adds the psychologist.

Boundaries that are good

After the first three months, setting times for sleeping, waking up, eating and playing helps to calm the beast. “Young children have no sense of time and depend on these events, repeated day after day, to organize themselves. The routine provides security and reduces the baby’s anxiety because he can more or less predict what will happen in a little while”, explains Almeida. Of course, even starting from a pre-established schedule, there has to be flexibility, as long as concessions are made with common sense.

tailored stimuli

Some babies respond with extreme irritation to noisy, busy, or brightly lit environments. Others may get bored in a house that is always quiet and peaceful, as they miss a wider range of stimuli. And everyone cries. It is up to parents to identify what causes their child’s nervousness, adapting the offer of stimuli to their nature. In this way, they guarantee the incentive that the child needs to make sensory discoveries essential to their development. But even the most restless people need to slow down at dusk to get a good night’s sleep. “The best way to dose the stimuli is to observe the baby’s reactions. If he starts to cry or gets nervous, it’s a sign that he’s tired of that game”, teaches Almeida.

guaranteed security

For the newborn, nothing is more reassuring than realizing that it is enough to cry to receive the attention of the parents. You don’t need to run out of breath towards the crib at the slightest grumble or pick up your child at all times. But it is necessary to be close by and talk to him to restore calm. According to specialists, the fear of spoiling the child is not justified during the first months. “The baby does not yet have such a refined psychic development that it allows him to try any kind of manipulation. If he cries, he is necessarily manifesting physical or emotional discomfort”, guarantees psychologist Ana Beatriz Fernandes Lopes, specialist in interdisciplinary clinics with babies, from São Paulo.

break for rest

Respecting the baby’s need for sleep and rest is essential for the child to be in a good mood. “The quality of sleep contributes to healthy development. So, in the name of the child’s well-being, parents will have to restrict their outings with the newborn, avoiding long walks and busy places, with ambient sound and bright lights”, warns Almeida. If the little one relaxes and rests for the necessary time, he will also respond with more positive attitudes when he is awake. Exactly like adults.