How to be a good negotiator

Negotiating is an art for which, in some way, we are especially prepared. Most children are already ruthless negotiators. They know their weapons, they know that they have the possibility of satisfying the desires of others (e.g. behaving well) and they do not hesitate to offer it in exchange for what they want.

For Being a good negotiator requires possessing a series of skills and proper management of them.. Among them, confidence, assertiveness, flexibility and good disposition stand out. But there are many more. And the good news is that they can be trained!

Learning and experience to be a good negotiator

The main managerial skills of a good negotiator are two: courage and integrity. Thanks to them, someone can defend with conviction the interests or values ​​that he represents or has, at the same time being eloquent and sagacious.

Therefore, if you are going to face a negotiation process, it is advisable that you know that there are certain strategies that can help you, especially if you choose the right moment in the negotiation to use them.

As we have said, since we are little we show what our potential qualities are. For example, when we ask for another story to be read to us or we try to squeeze in a few more minutes before going to bed. Parents are our first rivals, because there, without hardly realizing it, we are already negotiating.

How our brain acts during the process

When we face a negotiation process, the most normal thing is that During the first contact, our prefrontal cortex is activated and we experience a certain nervousness. Next, if we believe that we are not going to be able to handle the situation, the amygdala causes us to experience fear.

To overcome this panic It is best to anticipate the situation, with prior planning and preparation.. For example, being clear about what our objective is, how we should proceed or gathering as much information as possible. It is also good to know some tricks, such as opening the negotiation when it comes to quantities to use the “anchoring effect”.

Brain activity is then concentrated in our mirror neurons, thanks to which we try to empathize with the person in front of uscreating a climate of understanding and trust.

In this case, we look for any signal that allows us to deduce how the person next to us is, adapt to their mood and act accordingly. At this point, communication skills are essential.

9 keys to being a good negotiator

Now, below we will tell you what aspects you should take into account and develop to be an excellent negotiator:

1. Know how to communicate

When negotiating it is important know in depth what is meantwe cannot arrive at the meeting without knowledge about the topic to be discussed or with the idea of ​​improvising.

Although there are people with a high capacity for improvisation, It is always better to be prepared, with a mental outline of what we are going to say. and what reflects the aspects are the most important.

Besides, It is not only important to know what we are going to say, but how we are going to do it. To do this, we must analyze our interlocutor, know as much as possible about him or her. Thus, we can adapt our speech to your interests or preferences, and take advantage of it.

2. Listen actively

For its part, during the negotiation It is important that we understand our interlocutor in depth.. To do this, we must be very attentive to their verbal and non-verbal expressions.

That is, in negotiations every detail matters, We should not only stick with what the other person says, but also how they say it.. Well, gestures can give us more clues than the words themselves.

For example, if we notice that they frown at any of our proposals, change their posture very often, do not maintain eye contact or are too attentive to their papers, it will be better to change our way of proceeding.

3. Channel emotions

Many specialists emphasize that to be a good negotiator it is necessary to put emotions aside. and opt for objectivity. This is the basis of game theory, which advocates a cold and aseptic process, in which everyone involved is very rational.

But this is something very difficult to achieve if we take into account that we are people and, as such, emotions are part of us. Feelings significantly influence a negotiation and it is advisable to know how to control them so that they do not play tricks on us.

Good management of emotional intelligence and the capacity for self-criticism are essential to be a good negotiator. Thanks to them, we will be able to accept a defeat, analyze its reasons, learn from it and better face future negotiations.

4. Self-confidence

Good negotiators have complete confidence in their abilities. Well, If they do not do so, they will end up transmitting that insecurity to their interlocutors and will cause them to take advantage or they don’t want to close deals.

Therefore, It is important that you know your strengths and weaknesses very well., so that you can make the most of the first and can hide the second. So ask yourself what virtues can you bring out in the negotiation? And what defects are better to hide?

Besides, knowing your weaknesses will help you improve them every day and prevent them from being an impediment in your negotiations.

5. Honesty

In any negotiation it is important to always state the truth. This, In addition to generating trust and security in your interlocutors, it prevents you from developing a bad reputation. that prevents you from doing future business.

Furthermore, if at the time of the negotiation they discover that you are lying, everything you have achieved in the conversation will be lost.

6. Assertiveness

Assertiveness involves expressing yourself directly, clearly and precisely, without resorting to disrespect. Therefore, every good negotiator knows how to communicate his opinions without belittling and disrespecting the position of others.

It is important that under no circumstances do we offend the other party to the negotiation, but that we always make our point of view clear. To achieve this, proper channeling of emotions is key.

7. Patience

Patience is another virtue of good negotiators. This implies Do not anticipate, put aside impulsiveness and know how to manage negotiation times.

Although it sounds easy, Developing patience is one of the great challenges of this time, where haste and immediacy prevail. However, it is vital to have it in the negotiation processes.

For example, when faced with a counteroffer from the other party, the question may arise whether to respond immediately, try to adjust it to the initial offer, or simply run out of time. In these cases, It is best to take the time to think and analyze the possible scenarios involved in each decision..

8. Have different alternatives

Even though we have everything well prepared, negotiations do not always go as planned. Therefore, It is important that we take into account different alternatives for action in the face of possible scenarios..

What to do if you reject this offer? What to say if you are not convinced by the proposal? How do you respond if they say they need more time?… This It will prevent you from being caught off guard and the other party from gaining a considerable advantage over your proposal.

9. Persuasion

Persuasion is our great ally in any negotiation process. Having this ability may be innate, but we can also learn it. With time and practice this skill tIt will allow you to handle it with ease and adapt it to your needs according to the occasion.

For the brain there is no tie

If after finishing the process, both parties benefit, the brain may not feel satisfied. In these cases our mind does not contemplate the famous win-winbut only two options: win or lose. Success is not measured in lucrative terms, but in the degree of satisfaction that you consciously perceive.

There are other types of negotiations in which a collaboration agreement is sought. In this sense, the two negotiators know that if either party is not satisfied, it is likely that the agreement will soon be broken.

So, if we are one of these parties, and skilled negotiators, we will not only try to take care of or protect our interest, but We will try to ensure that the result obtained by the other party is seen as positive by them.
On the other hand, if we evaluate the outcome of the negotiation as positive, our reward circuit is launched. When activated, our body releases neurotransmitters responsible for pleasure, such as dopamine and oxytocin.

But if we believe we have failed, the threat circuit acts. Its protagonist is adrenaline, which is why we feel angry, disappointed or dejected.

To be a good negotiator, the key is to know how to use your brain and pay attention to the advice of neuroscience. There are managers of all types and personalities, but the crux of success is knowing find the exact dose of emotion and reason.

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