How many times is it normal to make love

Knowing how many times it is normal to make love with your partner is one of the most frequent doubts that psychologists and sexologists are exposed to. The most common answers have always been the same, that it depends on the couple and that there is no reason to establish a normal or abnormal figure. However, given the interest in knowing if we are within what could be considered “normality”, at unCOMO we want to give you some details about the most frequent figures in intimate relationships between couples depending on age.

A study conducted in 2006 based on hundreds of American couples revealed that the average number of times a couple makes love is 2 to 3 times a week. However, said this way, the data is not very useful, since it is not the same frequency that a young couple with peak hormonal levels can have and it has just been discovered that a 60-year-old couple who has been together for 40 years .

In the case of young people under 30 years oldthe average number of times They make love once every 2 days. However, it is necessary to differentiate between couples who are married or live together from those who live separately, given that the intimacy of the former allows them to have many more encounters.

Below we explain how these encounters evolve with age:

How many times do you make love at 40?

From 30 to 50, the average number of times a couple makes love is 2 times a week. But there are many factors involved and each couple is different. On the one hand, menopause in women is a key moment that marks a clear drop in libido. On the other hand, the shoulder may begin to have erection problems and it may become irregular.

How many times do you make love at 50?

In people over 50 years of age, the average is make love 4 times a month, which would be once a week. However, this is just statistics and if we look deeper we can find very interesting data. For example, 33% of couples maintain this regularity, while only 2% of couples over 50 have sex every day. On the contrary, a 25% of couples over 50 no longer have relationships or they do it in widely spaced periods of time. Contrary to what we might think, the majority (57%) do not miss it or regret it, they simply stay together by replacing sex with greater doses of trust, communication and humor.

Beyond everything we have explained, we must be clear that sexual frequency does not decrease solely due to age, but that the years of relationship also have a great influence. When a couple has just met, the sexual frequency is much higher, I tend to have up to 2 encounters a day. But as time goes by, sexual frequency declines. Thus, it is very possible that a recent couple in which the members are over 50 years old will have a higher sexual frequency than a young couple who has been together for many years.

Now that you know what could be normal in terms of frequency, it is time to talk, not so much about the quantity, but about the quality of the relationships you have. This is not a minor issue, since most therapists agree that the quality of sexual encounters is much more important both for the mental health and for the union of the couple.

But what is meant by a quality sexual relationship? The first thing we must take into account is the time it lasts. It must be taken into account that a woman needs between 5 and 7 minutes to be able to reach orgasm, so if the encounter lasts less than that, it is very difficult for her to reach climax. In that sense, premature ejaculation is a problem for relationships to be completely fulfilling and can trigger relationship problems. However, penetration is not everything, and you can have a totally pleasurable and quality sexual relationship even when the penetration time does not reach those 5 minutes.

On the one hand, we must claim the importance of preliminaries, as or more important than penetration itself, which should increase arousal and thus facilitate reaching orgasm. On the other hand, as the couple has been together for longer and the sexual routine overcomes them, a very good option is to incorporate the games within sexual practice. As far as you go will be as far as your imagination goes, since the options are many, from role-playing games and role exchanges to sex toys.

However, just as premature ejaculation is highly highlighted socially, something that causes relationship problems and a man’s own emotional health, the opposite side is rarely treated; those couples who prolong their relationships too long or those men who take too long to ejaculate. This can be due to physical reasons and problems, but also to psychological problems.

In short, more important than the quantity of relationships we have is the quality of those relationships. Pleasure is the goal of sex, and that is what we should keep in mind, not the number of times we go to bed. One pleasurable encounter per week is much better than three sexual encounters in which we are not satisfied. At this point it may be interesting to know a study from Pennsylvania State University, which attempts to establish how long a sexual relationship should last to be pleasurable. The time they give is between 7 and 13 minutesenough for both members of the couple to reach climax.

As you have seen throughout the article, there is no sexual frequency that is better than another, you can live together for many years with any sexual frequency, whether once a day or once at a time, yes, always. that you are both comfortable with that frequency.

The problem comes when the members of the couple have different sexual frequenciesThat is, differences in libido, that can become a problem for the relationship. When one member of the couple needs to have more relationships than the other, that is when frustration can appear, on the one hand, and guilt, on the other.

If that happens, the most important thing is to maintain communication in the couple, negotiate and know how to find a middle ground. As a couple, communication is essential, talking, knowing the needs and desires of the other is essential to have a healthy relationship.

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