How do I tell my partner that I no longer love him?

Sometimes it happens that love is leaving and there is no reason to explain it. It happens that you are with your partner so comfortable and you do not know why you are falling out of love. And it’s not your fault, nor your partner’s. It just happens: The time has come to tell the other person that we have stopped wanting them. How to do it without hurting him?

Saying goodbye with love is possible You just have to take great care of yourself and take care of the other person when you sit down to talk to them and you are about to undo the bond that unites you.

First: stop feeling guilty

Love is not eternal. Love is an energy in constant movement that transforms over time, that evolves, that explodes, that contracts and, sometimes, disappears or becomes another beautiful feeling.

Perhaps you once swore eternal love, but those are nice things that are said to express to the other our desire to be able to love them forever. And since sometimes you can’t, it is not really an oath, nor is it a promise. It’s just a declaration of intent: “I want to love you forever.”

When we commit to someone emotionally, sentimentally and sexually, the contract is always reviewable and it can end at any time.

Two free beings who love each other can choose how long to be with someone and for how long.

When someone says “I don’t love you anymore” the other person can only accept it with humility and generosity. It’s hard, it’s difficult, but it’s also very liberating. There is nothing more beautiful in this world than the freedom to be able to choose, to be able to undo the ties that bind us to people, to be able to build new ties.

There is nothing more beautiful than knowing that when someone is with us they are free to leave whenever they want. That is why we know that he loves us: because he is free to be and to go. And well, if it happens that it leaves, of course it will hurt us, but we cannot do anything to retain the other person, nor to make him fall in love again.

We can only accept what they are telling us and appreciate the honesty which is not the most common nowadays.

Second: tell him in the best possible way

Most couples, when in this situation, enter into a very painful romantic war or endless goodbyes that take up a lot of time and energy and make us all suffer a lot: the couple and the people who love the couple.

So instead of doing it wronglet’s do it right: we must speak with all our honesty, our sincerity, our respect, our affection towards the person with whom we have shared weeks, months or years of our lives.

You have to be brave and honest and relate to that person with tenderness.

You will see how, once you dare to do it like this, it is very liberating and very pleasant to know that you are doing things right, or at least, that you are trying:

stay with your partner in a quiet and intimate space where you can talk –like your house or his house, or your house– without rushing or having a time limit. Sit down in front of your partner, face to face.Take a deep breath, look into his eyes with love and explain how you feel.

We can tell him: “I don’t feel the same anymore, I’m not in love anymore, now I want to continue on my way. I loosen the bond, I give you all the freedom to fly. I fly now and say goodbye with love”.

Do it calmly when you feel calm, confident, free to express yourself. It is important to be very honest and Take care of your words so as not to hurt your partner. Be soft and firm and avoid using the “is that you…”.It is better to always speak from yourself, avoiding reproaches and false accusations, so that the other person does not feel attacked and becomes defensive.Focus the speech on you and how you feel, without justifying yourself, without feeling guilty. Talk with the same trust always and asks not to be interrupted if necessary. Then, listen to your partner with all the loving attention in the world, so that you also feel free to explain how you feel.

Third: keep in mind that parting can be hard

After this conversation, there are people who melt into long hugs, there are people who make love for the last time, there are people who say goodbye with love several times before disconnecting completely.

This, of course, if the other person has behaved well with us and we have behaved well with her. Other couples can’t even sit down and talk about the hatred and resentment they feel.

We must listen to the other person to see how they receive it, how they feel. There may be tears, regrets, reproaches, hugs, smiles. There can also be a lot of anger, especially if you didn’t expect it.

All emotions can be expressed, but Let’s avoid using them as pain bombs. It’s about taking care of our partner when we separate, and taking care of ourselves throughout the process.

It’s about taking care of yourself, treating yourself well, acting with love and empathy.

The duels of the stories that end well are shorter and hurt less. Closing the story with your partner is one of the most comforting things in the world in the midst of suffering from loss. And so it is easier for you to close a stage of your life from the inside in order to start another.

So everything is advantageous if you manage to do this exercise in honesty, empathy, generosity and good love with your partner when it comes to undo the tie that has united you.