How can I stop thinking about my ex-partner?

Do you feel like you can’t stop thinking about your ex? Is there really a way to do it? The truth is that there is no magic formula to achieve it. Actually, The key is to stop demanding that we “stop thinking.”

It is more about respecting our rhythms while continuing to focus on the present and life beyond our ex-partner. We are in a new stage and we must continue living; That is why it is important to go through grief and move forward little by little.

What can I do to stop thinking about my ex-partner?

Each person must find their own strategies, since each one lives their own process, and not everyone needs the same thing to move forward. However, we leave you 5 general ideas to start thinking about the topic:

Don’t force yourself to stop thinking

The first key idea that we give you if you have doubts about stopping thinking about your ex-partner is, precisely, that you stop trying directly, as if it were a matter of using more force. Thoughts cannot be controlled, although they can We can learn to let them pass over time.avoiding getting trapped in them.

This is like the famous pink elephant exercise; Imagine someone tells you, “don’t think about a pink elephant.” Isn’t it true that the first thing you do is think about him? Well, it’s the same; The more you push yourself not to think, the more you will think. That’s why, respect your rhythms and understand that thinking for a while about that person you have loved is normal.

Validate your emotions

In grieving processes, such as a breakup, it is important to respect each person’s rhythms and validate the emotions felt at all times. The fact that you keep thinking about your ex-partner It could be due to a thousand reasons: not having gotten over the breakup, a present that does not fulfill us, a future in which we do not have much hope, etc.

Whatever it is, what you feel is valid, it’s okay. As with thoughts, do not demand that you quickly “get out” of these emotions. Allow yourself to feel the longing, the nostalgia, melancholy…, it is not strange that they invade you. Thus, the more you allow yourself to feel these emotions, the sooner they will “go away”, making way for calm.

Observe your present

In general, when we are more aware of our past (or our future), it is because our present does not satisfy us. Therefore, we encourage you to observe it, since be able to detect what you do like about him. If there is currently nothing in your present that fulfills you, create it, look for it.

Try to turn your present into something valuablethat deserves your attention, to be lived.

Look for what gives you back the illusion

In breakup processes It is very important to reconnect with what excites us. With our interests, our hobbiespassions… Not so much because they allow us to distract ourselves from the distressing emotion we are feeling (that too), but because they allow us to look towards the future again.

These are activities that make us feel good, that remind us that life goes on. The objective? Little by little improve our mood and have new dreams beyond what “already lived”, in order to progressively stop thinking about the ex-partner.

Say goodbye to your ex-partner (it can be with a ritual)

Saying goodbye does not necessarily mean doing it physically. If you already said goodbye at the time, but you feel that you still have something pending, that you have not yet turned the page, say goodbye in your own way. Close the cycle. How can you do it, if you no longer see it or if you have ruled out that option?

Through a farewell ritual. It doesn’t matter if weeks or months have passed since the breakup. If you need this moment, do that act of generosity and courage with yourself. Rituals allow us to close stages, symbolically. You can do it however you want: write a letter with what you have “left in your inkwell” and then tear it up, burn it, keep it…

Tear up their photos, save them in a special box, play a song you liked, etc. The idea is perform a small symbolic action that allows you to express what you have insidesay goodbye to that important person and, above all, let go.

Ask for professional help

Psychotherapy is a very valuable tool when it comes to offering us strategies that can help us regain well-being. Therefore, if you feel stuck and don’t know very well how to manage your discomfort, if you need to understand what is happening to you and how you can solve itwe encourage you to ask for professional help.

Love breakup: find out what you need

How can I stop thinking about my ex-partner? It is not easy to identify what can help us in this process., because each process is unique. Therefore, it is about listening to our emotions at every moment, connecting with them and validating them.

And above all, Don’t judge yourself if you still think about your ex-partner. Try to understand why it happens; Is it because your present doesn’t fulfill you? Why do you think too much about thoughts and memories?

Analyze your case and, based on this, start with small actions that can help you, such as looking for activities or goals that excite you or asking for professional help.

You might be interested…