Love is watered every day

Achieving a complicit, respectful and lasting love is not achieved with a couple of months of effort: it must be watered every day.

“I want a present love, inscribed in the small details and without an expiration date.”“I want a love that does not take things for granted, that does not bring me tears, but rather serene days of authentic affection, and afternoons of eternal hugs.”

Without a doubt, we all want a relationship with these characteristics, but we often forget something essential: relationships must be worked on every daybecause affection does not feed on emptiness or absence, it needs an authentic presence that allows us to grow.

Love is a thread that unites two hearts, two lives that need daily light to see each other and an inner strength to maintain themselves: if there are no details there is no essence, and without essence the thread breaks.

Often, When we have been in a relationship for a certain amount of time, a very everyday enemy called “routine” appears. and characterized in turn by that dimension in which things begin to be taken for granted. The “I don’t need to do or say this because he/she already knows it”, or “I’m sure he/she doesn’t care because I know he/she loves me” or “it doesn’t matter how much time passes because feelings don’t change”.

They are actually misleading ideas, given that Love never takes things for granted. Love, sometimes, although mature, also has doubts, and needs daily displays of affection, words and gestures that build reciprocity. The authenticity. We invite you to reflect on it.

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Love needs a very particular everyday language

Love, like life, changes and transforms. A relationship goes through different periods and at each moment it will have needs. However, affection is always the same and you must know how to offer it through a particular language.

There is a language inscribed in love that we all understand, and it is that of enthusiasm, that illusion that continues to illuminate the eyes, longing for caresses, seeking closeness.

It is possible that the passion of today is no longer the same as the early days, but now, a deeper phase is ignited where tenderness and complicity gives way to another phase where the same love, the same need, continues to exist. And all of this must be taken care of every day.

What happens when love is not cultivated?

Love that is not cultivated day by day brings doubts and brings shortcomings. Sometimes, this emotional absence is not due to lack of love, but to settling into a stage where for one of the two “it is enough to just be present”, without the need to contribute, to attend, to take care of details and gestures.

One of the main problems in relationships is that one of the members needs more signs of affection. and attention than the other. There is an emotional dissonance that, if not addressed or taken into account, can cause problems.

A common enemy when a relationship reaches this point is the appearance of reverse empathy.. It is based on imitating the partner’s “negative” behavior to get their attention and hurt them. If he or she forgets to call me, or leaves dinner without telling me anything, to “pay it back” I disappear for the weekend.

They are harmful and unconstructive behaviors that lead nowhere. A problem is never solved by bringing another problem.. The shortcomings that are felt at the level of the couple must be expressed out loud to make them present, to become aware.

Complicit love: love based on reciprocity

It is not always easy to find a love that accommodates our particularities., to our defects and our corners. The most important thing is to find a love that fits our values and which goes hand in hand throughout our life cycle, growing as a couple, and growing individually.

I want a love where we are not antagonists, where there is one who always wins and another who always cries. I want to dance on starry nights and allow the years to arrive in serenity telling myself that everything I have experienced, everything that has passed, was worth it.

A relationship that is not “watered,” that is not attended to every day, is a relationship that is not nourished and that ends up irremediably fraying. Therefore, it is necessary to take these simple dimensions into account.

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Understand the way your partner expresses his or her love for you

Sometimes, we feel the need for our partners to show us their love in the way we want and expect.

However, Just because he doesn’t tell you every day that he loves you doesn’t mean he’s sorry.. Just because he doesn’t say yes to everything doesn’t mean he doesn’t take you into account. Value details, complicity, support and authenticity. The language of love will remain the same even though each of you uses different words: it is enough to know, understand and appreciate them.

Every act, every word and every gesture must be authentic

There is one aspect that we must take into account: it is possible that there are everyday gestures where affection is always explicit, where there are a thousand and one details and hundreds of affections. But these must be authentic.

Love should not be forced, it should not be shown obligatorily with a constant “I love you,” or with a weekly gift. Complicity, surprise, the unexpected gesture, the sincere embrace are preferable to a routine where words lose their essence.