People who talk and talk and talk… about themselves

At first they seem very nice to you. They tend to be sociable, good conversationalists and with an attractive personality. However, as time goes by you begin to feel that that person is somewhat annoying.: She talks a lot and almost always about herself. She tells you the same stories over and over again. She is someone who feels authorized to talk about any topic, even if she doesn’t know it. And nobody shuts it up.

After you talk to that person you feel like you’ve wasted your time. Finally, they never talked, but you were a kind of sparring partner in a long monologue. That is why it is likely that when you meet that person again you will make up some excuse so that there is no room for a talk.

egocentrism

A person who talks a lot about himself He has not established a clear boundary between himself and his environment. His narcissistic personality prevents him from assuming that he is not the center of the world. That is why he finds it normal that all conversations revolve around him or her.

In fact, it doesn’t occur to them that their rants might bore others. And if you tell them directly, they will assume that the problem is with the other person, not with themselves.

This excessive need for attention on them is actually born from their unconscious insecurities.. They feel gratification if they get others to listen to them all the time; They perceive it as proof of their own worth. They fail to be in tune with the desires of others, but rather revolve around their own needs all the time.

Whoever talks non-stop obviously has a great need to be heard. Even though he’s not saying anything. Talking to others distracts you from the inner dialogue that each of us has with ourselves.. This person does not want to listen to himself, but rather to be listened to. He does not want to give value to his ideas or his words, but rather to avoid an inner encounter. He sees himself through others.

The content of the “conversation”

There are those who always talk about themselves to take an inventory of their sufferings. They neither ask you for help, nor do they accept your advice. They assume that you should simply act considerately towards them. Others do the opposite: they present you with a chain of stories to prove to you how wonderful they are.. They tell you about their thousands of daily exploits, always hoping for a hurray from you.

There are those who talk to you about their problems to ask you for guidance. It’s like you’re their private, free therapist. They are people who never ask you how you are or if you also have difficulties. They assume that their problems are more serious and that it is your obligation to listen to them and advise them.

In all these cases there is no genuine conversation. It is rather a manipulation mechanism through words.. You enter a strange game with them, in which sometimes you can feel committed to staying there. Forced to listen to them, praise them or pity them. But your bond with those people is not authentic, it always operates under the shadow of that feeling that tells you “something is not right.”

It is good that At some point you express directly and kindly how positive a conversation is when there is the possibility of both speaking and listening.. It is also good that you invite him to talk about new topics.

Although it is not impossible to treat this type of people, since in many cases they return to being the nice ones you met at the beginning, yes it is necessary to learn to set limits. If you feel that it affects you, that it makes you uncomfortable, that it triggers feelings of guilt or emptiness, it is better to walk away.

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Image courtesy of Lst1984.