Hints and messages for when they don’t value you

When you start to notice that a person does not value you, it is difficult to make them understand.

And while they say a word is worth a thousand actions, resorting to a hint isn’t always a healthy solution.

Since it can cause pain and bring misunderstandings, especially if the one who is making you feel unappreciated is your partner.

That doesn’t mean that having the right word at the right time can’t be helpful.

The important thing is knowing how to understand how and when to say it, so that it achieves the effect you need.

Messages or hints for when they don’t value you

Every person is a world.

And whatever each is going through makes it difficult for them to see each other clearly.

And it makes it more difficult for them to appreciate it.

If your partner is the one who is having this problem, you can help them.

Sometimes the word, phrase and even hint can make you reflect on your actions.

And help them easily see what your point of view is or how it’s making you feel.

Keep in mind that these phrases or hints cannot be said out of context.

Since that will make it even more difficult for the other to understand what hurts you.

So, if you decide to use any of these words, choose the right moment and tone of voice.

How to do it?

Say them at the moment you feel worthless or hurt (Not 3 days later, when you can’t stand it anymore!) This way, your partner will have the opportunity to better understand what is hurting you. Try to use a calm tone of voice. Remember: yelling or getting angry does not make your emotion more valid, you may confuse him more and it is not clear to him what exactly bothers you. Keep in mind the situation the other is going through. For example: if your partner has recently lost a loved one, it is normal for them to have trouble seeing other people’s gestures or paying attention to you.

Now yes, here I leave you a list of famous phrases for you to use. Some you can even use as WhatsApp messages, if the context allows.

“Value people when you have them, not when you lose them.” “The truth is not on the side of whoever yells the most.” Rabindranath Tagore “True love is nothing other than the inevitable desire to help the other to be who he is.” Jorge Bucay “Value what you have in the moment, because losing a minute of love is not the same as losing love in a minute.” Gines “He loves who values ​​you, not who uses you.” Anonymous “Whoever does not value you, does not love you. Who loves you, does not make you suffer.” HellKnight “He doesn’t know what love is who doesn’t love you, he doesn’t know what love is who doesn’t look at you.” Vicente Gaos “Whoever gets angry at criticism, recognizes that he deserved it.” Gaius Cornelius Tacitus

What to do when they don’t value your effort?

We often try to do things for others by seeking their approval or thanks.

But, many others, we have gestures from the heart, which are born because we wanted to do it for the other.

I mean, you do it for love.

The psychologist Gabriel Rolón indicates that,

“When we don’t feel valued, we question what we do and who we are.”

We doubt not only what we are doing, but also what the other person feels about us.

And that hurts.

The first thing you need to understand is what’s wrong with you. A self-criticism is always helpful.

Here is a guide to achieve it:

Understand what you feel: what is really hurting you. Have you made a gesture for your partner and they didn’t realize it? Or that he is ignoring you on a daily basis?

Have clear expectations: Are you selflessly seeking gratitude and recognition? Or maybe you want to be the center of attention for what you do?

Once you are clear about what you feel and what you were looking for with your actions, you will better understand how to proceed to talk to who you need to value you.

Follow these tips when speaking:

Assess the situation:

Be clear about what is making you feel worthless.

That they don’t thank you for your daily effort at home? Maybe he doesn’t take you into account to make decisions?

Think about the relationship:

There are people who do not thank or appreciate through words, but through gestures. Sometimes not being able to see this makes us feel unnecessarily undervalued.

Perhaps your partner does not tell you every day how grateful he is that you take care of solving housework. But show you with small gestures that you are important.

Presents the problem:

Once you identify what is bothering you, present it in a calm way, explain what makes you feel that way and give the other the opportunity to give you their point of view.

Agreement:

If what you feel is missing cannot be solved, try to reach an agreement with your partner that makes you both feel good. Sometimes, the implementation is more useful than the theory.

For example: if you feel that he doesn’t let you have a say in relationship issues, but he tells you that he does it his way and you don’t notice it, tell him that the next time you feel displaced, you will let him know so that he has the opportunity to “show you” how it is integrating you.

If you have no idea how to start this conversation, here are a couple of sentences:

Phrases for when they don’t value you

I feel displaced. I need you to listen to me more often. I would like to know how you value me. I don’t feel loved.
I don’t feel important to you. I don’t think you’re noticing how it hurts me when… I don’t feel valued when… I need you to show me that you care.

Remember to be clear about everything before starting the conversation.

Otherwise, they may end up arguing without reaching an agreement or not understanding what is really happening to you.

Value yourself

The most important thing is to understand that sometimes we look outside for what we don’t have inside.

If you notice that your partner can’t give you what you need, it’s time to move on.

No one better than you to know where the limit is for this.

Being eternally waiting for the other to realize what you feel or how to value yourself is not the solution.

If you don’t value yourself first, no one else will.

Only you can give yourself the value you deserve.