“He doesn’t want anything with me but he looks for me”: 15 reasons and how to act

Are you seeing someone who acts like they want something with you, but runs for the hills every time a real possibility appears?

Maybe he’s even told you that he loves you as a friend, but he acts a bit like he’s your boyfriend.

If so, I understand you.

For one, he says the right things and makes you feel wanted. You think there may be something more but the possibility of going to the next level never arises.

You feel confused, frustrated, and start to doubt whether it’s worth continuing to put energy into this guy.

From one woman to another, we have all been through something similar.

The good thing is that by understanding why he behaves this way, you can decide whether to stay or walk away.

Here we will not only look at the reasons why it behaves this way, but we will also cover what your options are and whether or not it is worth continuing to invest in it.

Why doesn’t he want anything with me but looks for me?

1) Not yet established

For one reason or another, he may not feel stable enough to pursue a relationship.

For some men, having their finances in order or a house to call home is a must before they start thinking about a relationship.

So, are you having financial problems?

Are you going through a difficult period in your life?

Other ways you could be unsettled include if you’ve recently been divorced or have been through a difficult breakup. She may have had to deal with a major change in her life, such as the death of a relative or close friend.

Whatever the reason, it could be that you don’t feel like you can take on another “responsibility” while everything else in your world is up in the air.

If you can’t stand uncertainty, ask him. You will be surprised how much you can learn just by asking, “Are you where you want to be in your life?”

2) You don’t feel needed

In several of our articles we talk about this novel concept called “Hero Instinct”

Many women think they know what men want out of a relationship, but sometimes they are wrong.

Above all else, men want to feel like a hero to the woman they care about.

But not a novel hero, rather it is about unleashing an innate biological impulse within men.

It’s not about sex or power, it’s about a man feeling needed, loved and essential to you.

And if you wonder how to get this guy to see you as his wife, ideally there is something you can do.

You must learn what fibers to touch when you interact with him.

Fortunately there are people who have dedicated their lives to studying this in depth.

This is the case of Noelia Sandoval who has created a unique method. Her studies in biology and neurochemistry of her love helped her find the keys that she shares about her in her book “Melt it with love” where she describes the step by step to conquer a man and create a healthy relationship. and durable.

Instead of presenting utopian ideas about love, she has found the biological and psychological origin to explain falling in love.

If you want to know how to stimulate the crush factors of the boy you like, and make him fall in love with you, you can not stop taking a look at his theories.

If you want to know more about this GUIDE to fall in love with any man you want, I share once again the access to more information HERE.

3) It’s easy and convenient

Many women get angry and frustrated at the inaction of men. But, have you shown him that you are interested in something else with him? Have you told him what your standards are and what you expect of him?

Sometimes, women, we think that if we go with the flow, we will get the results we want. But maybe he’s too comfortable with the situation as it is and he won’t do anything to change it.

If you continue to be there for him without objections, how will he know that he should give more of himself for you.

As far as he’s concerned, it’s easy and convenient to keep seeing you and having fun together.

4) He doesn’t see a future with you but he likes you

In some cases, it could be that he doesn’t see a future with you but feels too comfortable, or doesn’t dare to tell you the truth.

When a man is sure of a woman and knows that she likes him, he will not miss the opportunity to move forward.

The truth is, if he’s interested in you, he doesn’t want anyone else to get there first.

But if he hasn’t even thought about a relationship with you, chances are he’ll keep entertaining you until he meets the “one.”

The truth is that men don’t plan their future as soon as they meet a girl like some women do, but after knowing each other for a few months you should know if you have some sort of connection or not.

5) He is afraid of commitment

We’ve all come across a man in our life who is completely terrified of committing himself.

Men who let countless great women go because they can’t get over this fear.

But what causes the fear of commitment? According to Diana Kirschner, there are several factors such as:

Fear of rejection Fear of not being up to standards Lack of ability to trust Fear of having to grow up Not wanting to feel stifled or controlled

And ultimately, it’s a loss of freedom that discourages many men from committing.

Depending on many things, such as his upbringing, friends, cultural beliefs, your guy may be struggling to be in a relationship because he is afraid of the unknown.

Find out about his past; respect his privacy, but also don’t be afraid to ask questions to better understand him.

The simple truth is that most women don’t know what men think, what they want in life, and what they really want from a relationship.

It is important to understand that we are biologically different and therefore have different ways of looking at relationships.

6) He is afraid of rejection

We already briefly mentioned fear of rejection as a reason why some men don’t commit, but let’s dig a little deeper:

According to Suzanne Degges-White, a lot of it comes down to cultural expectations of men, such as being providers and protectors.

She explains that having this pressure, combined with past experiences of rejection, could cause some men to react negatively when faced with a potential new relationship.

And this is especially true if they were rejected as children, through abuse or neglect by their parents.

This pain stays with them into adulthood, and depending on how traumatized they are, they may have a hard time committing to relationships because of their fear of rejection.

This is going to be a difficult subject to bring up with him, so you need to approach it carefully.

If he is willing to talk about it, you can offer your support and encourage him to face his traumas and work through them.

However, it is up to him to solve these problems and since they can arise from childhood, the healing process can take a while.

7) He is using you

I know this doesn’t sound nice, but he may just be using you.

Whether it’s for company, entertainment, or maybe sex if you’ve already been together. It is possible that he stays alone to spend time with you, but without the intention of anything else.

At this point, you may be wondering, “what is he using me for?”

It’s not always immediately clear, but ask yourself these questions:

Is he only here for sex? (So ​​he is using you for your body) Do you pay everything when you go out? (He is using you for your money) Does he only come to you when he is feeling down and needs to be cheered up? (He is taking emotional advantage of you)

According to relationship coach John Alex, some of the reasons people use others fall into the categories of narcissism, insecurity issues, and compensation for past inferiority.

So what does this mean to you?

Well, it’s not your fault, that’s for sure, but you have to do something about it.

Your guy is probably dealing (badly) with something that happened in his past, or has narcissistic tendencies and feels little remorse for using you.

And what can you do?

This is the easy part: remove/stop doing whatever it usually comes for.

If he keeps coming back, then you know he’s not using you.

But, if his behavior changes or he gets upset, you’ll have a clear sign that he was just taking advantage.

8) You are his safety net

And just as he could be using you for your body or your great company, he could also use you as his backup girl.

You’re basically just there to fill in the gaps between the actual relationships he has.

Whether out of fear of being alone or boredom, many men (and women) keep someone close just to have a plan B when plan A fails.

So, are you his back up?

You’ll know if this is the case if he doesn’t want anyone to know they’re seeing each other, or if he started seeing you immediately after breaking up.

Be aware of how often he cancels your plans to date other people and if he seems interested in other women.

Most men stick to a plan B while still looking for plan A, so you should watch to see if he acts like he’s completely single with other women.

9) He doesn’t want you to see anyone else

And if using you as a backup wasn’t bad enough, some guys may keep you around simply because they don’t want anyone else to have you.

Sounds a bit crazy, right?

Why wouldn’t he ask you to be his girlfriend if he’s jealous?

Well, for some men it comes down to being very territorial.

Regardless of whether he wants something with you, he certainly doesn’t want anyone else coming into the picture.

He does enough to keep you around, but without making anything official.

He hangs out, you talk on the phone every day, and he says sweet things to you, but when it comes to taking the next step, he’s not ready for it.

He knows that if he does enough to keep you happy, he won’t have to compromise and you won’t be available to others.

10) It is insecure

The last reason that I will present to you is insecurity.

An insecure man will find it difficult to make decisions; he always wonders if he is making the right decision or not.

One day he thinks proposing to you is a great idea, the next day he can’t think of anything worse, so he keeps you around “just in case.”

It could be that you are still finding your place in the world, or that you are dealing with deep-seated insecurities that make you feel inadequate and therefore you struggle to make decisions and follow through on them.

It’s hard to break free from this type of man, because a part of him wants the relationship, but he keeps questioning himself and changing his mind.

And the worst part?

He might also keep you around because he’s afraid to try to find someone else.

With you, it’s a safe option because he already knows how you feel.

That’s why he keeps you close, to avoid taking that leap of faith with someone else.

Pay attention to how decisive he is in his life and whether he considers himself a secure and confident person or someone who is insecure about himself. So you can know if this is the reason why he does not want anything with you.

So is there any hope for this kind of relationship?