Growing up is learning to say goodbye forever

They say that growing up is learn to say goodbye. It is learning to close doors forever, where there is no room for a see you later, a maybe or a maybe. Closing a stage is a farewell with no return, no turning back. It is a loud goodbye, with an accent and a full stop. Although if there is one thing we know, it is that it is very difficult for us to say goodbye, with how easy ellipses are…

leave things in standby, or with a just in case it is not the healthiest thing when a relationship already hurts excessively and already oxidizes self-esteem. We know that saying goodbye are big words. Reaching a position of no return distresses us, it confronts us with a horizon of possibilities where what we said goodbye to will no longer be there.

The fear of saying goodbye, an open window to pain

I never dared to say goodbye. And not doing it is leave a window open to pain, to disappointment and disenchantment. Hope is the last thing to be lost, but if the cause is lost, it is better to let go, take a deep breath and let go.

What’s more, studies such as the one carried out by Dr. Kathrin Ritter Vanessa Handsel, from the University of Tennessee, show us that often It is difficult for us to be aware of the most harmful relationships, those that take away our dignity and self-esteem.

It is difficult for us to see it, it is immensely difficult for us to accept it and take the step, but doing so is an act of courage that we must all take.

Saying goodbye to someone who broke your heart is not something that can be done overnight. To the one who tore your soul. To whom you say “see you later” because it is better to feel pain than to feel nothing. And it is that that cold in your chest terrifies you. It undresses you. She throws you to the ground.

So, you choose the incandescence of pain, anger and rage. Because you don’t even consider saying goodbye. You believe that your feelings can only be a variation of those states. Either fire or cold. Because you don’t know anything else. Because You have not been taught to feel differently and because you have not dared to say goodbye.

You think your heart will freeze and that he will never feel fire again. And I agree with you. The best thing that can happen to you is that you never feel that burning that consumes you. That there is another state, neither so cold nor so suffocating.

Likewise, if there is one thing we know, it is that It is when saying goodbye, when someone will appear who He will hug you so tight your heart will melt again. Maybe not next week, or next year. But it will come. When you learn to say goodbye for real, with all its consequences. Then your soul will be free to welcome someone who truly deserves it.

Learn to let go, not to waste your time

Little by little you will learn to say goodbye to the one who took advantage of you, your friendship and your trust. From someone who sells you for less than nothing. Goodbye to those people that today they are here and that tomorrow they leave with the sun that shines brightest. Who seek to be in the shadow of other people, because they are incapable of radiating light.

Those interested, selfish, and sad beings. Those are the ones who deserve your goodbye. But the one that has an accent and a full stop. Surround yourself with people who have also learned to say goodbye, because with them you will have the certainty of their friendship.

Remember, as Albert Ellis, cognitive psychotherapist and pioneer of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, told us that Every person has the power to change themselves to aspire to happiness.

Thus, those who have suffered, cried, and let go have been able to take the step towards their best version. Now, they know what they want, and what’s more beautiful, they want you by their side. With your oddities, with your manias, but they want you by their side.

Your circle will shrink, but you won’t change any of those people in it for all the gold in the world. They say that friends are the family we choose. Say goodbye to the one you can’t call brother.

The fear of loneliness sometimes pushes us to put an ellipsis. To say see you later instead of saying I don’t want to see you again. But that solitude is necessary to know who you need around you. Maybe that’s why we maintain relationships throughout our lives that neither contribute, nor make you grow, nor complete you. The worst thing that can happen to you is to live surrounded by people, and feel alone.

With so much noise, you hear your feelings with interference, as if it were an old radio that was poorly tuned. Listen to yourself. Get away from the noise. Your time is valuable. Don’t waste it on people who don’t deserve it. Learn to say goodbye. Free yourself from those chains and make room for new receptions.

Because as Master Sabina says: “To say with God, we both have plenty of reasons.”

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