6 Seemingly Normal Actions That Could Indicate Serious Self-Confidence Issues

It only takes a few seconds of relationship for us to draw some conclusions about the person we are dealing with. This happens because, unconsciously, we send verbal and non-verbal signals all the time, and they are fundamental for our subconscious to determine whether or not the person is self-confident.

Check out some habits and attitudes that can convey more security.

When a person with low self-esteem receives a compliment, they often suspect they are making fun of them. But even though she’s sure the compliment is sincere, instead of taking it calmly and saying thank you, she starts to justify herself, saying things like “Thanks, but I’m sure you would have done better than me.”

When people with low self-esteem praise others, they may also be indirectly belittling themselves: “That dress looks great on you; it wouldn’t look so pretty on me”, or “What a great result, I would never have done the same”.

People who can’t love themselves don’t accept their own merit. If they get promoted or receive a bonus, they think it was just luck, and they always believe that luck can turn at any time. This can be called the imposter syndrome.

What to do?

Simple: learn to accept compliments calmly.

When someone asks you a question, or when they ask you for something, do you take time to think or do you always try to answer as quickly as possible, but that the other person does not think that you are indifferent to them? Insecure people often agree with the interlocutor and without much reflection answer ‘yes’ to any request. Even when they cannot do what is being asked. What happens is that for such a person it is more important to avoid conflicts and be positive, which is why he always agrees with others.

What to do?

Respond without haste and with prudence.

Remember that the most important opinion of you is yours.

Silence, especially in companies where people don’t know each other very well, makes everyone feel a little uncomfortable, but, especially for people with low self-esteem, it’s unbearable. They try to fill the silence with something, look for conversation starters, cough, sigh, do whatever. But silences can appear for many reasons: a rest after a tense conversation, lack of knowledge, lack of good communication… an insecure person feels responsible for ending the silence.

Another strategy that some people adopt is to use the cell phone, either on social networks or writing things that make no sense. It helps them to hide.

What to do?

Stop taking responsibility for the behavior and mood of others. Maybe you’re with two people who don’t get along, so your attempt to start a conversation could make the situation even worse. Learn to behave in a relaxed manner at these times.

Another sign of insecurity is compensation, a public manifestation of arrogance, which appears when a person tries in every possible way to underline his own status and show something that he does not have. Researchers in Britain and the United States have found that small airports use the word ‘international’ more often than large airports, which are truly international. The same goes for universities.

These studies allowed the researchers to reach the conclusion that people who belong to a certain group and are not a key part of it, generally like to say that they are a fundamental part of it.

What to do? Don’t give so much importance to prestige, the opinion of others and elitism. Secure people don’t go around talking about their own accomplishments.

No matter how hard we try to hide our insecurities, our bodies don’t lie. First of all, it’s always important to keep an eye on your posture. Surprisingly, scientists have found a relationship between posture and self-esteem. Researchers at the University of Ohio, USA, asked a group of participants to go to a job interview and sit with their backs straight and their heads up; the second group was allowed to sit comfortably, almost lying flat on the chair. After the interview, the first group said they thought they had a good chance of getting the job, while the second group showed insecurity. “Our posture not only influences what others think of us, but also what we think of ourselves.”comments research director Richard Petty.

Other signs that may indicate a lack of self-confidence and excessive tension are a locked jaw, people biting their lips, a worried expression, and hands and arms crossed.

What to do? You don’t have to be a superhero or pretend to be friendly, but it’s important to keep your back straight and your head up.

Eye contact is very important to establish trust between interlocutors. The empty and lost look in space betrays a liar or suggests insecurity and fear. Sociologist Nora Murphy, from Brandeis University (USA) carried out some research and observed that people who calmly look into the interlocutor’s eyes are perceived as open, secure and with a good level of intelligence.

What to do? Do not avoid eye contact, even if you are criticized for doing so. Looking down is like you’re accepting the accusations.