Grandparents never die, they remain installed in our hearts

Grandparents do not die because they are inscribed in our emotions in a more delicate and profound way than simple genetics.

Grandparents never die, they become invisible and sleep forever in the depths of our hearts. Even today we miss them and we would give anything to hear their stories again, to feel their caresses and those looks full of infinite tenderness.

We know that it is the law of life, while grandparents have the privilege of seeing us born and grow, we have to witness how they grow old and say goodbye to this world. Their loss is almost always the first goodbye we have had to face in our childhood.

Grandparents who are involved in raising their grandchildren leave traces in their souls, legacies that will accompany them for life as seeds of everlasting love for those days when they become invisible.

Nowadays it is very common to see grandfathers and grandmothers involved in parenting tasks with their grandchildren. They are an invaluable support network in today’s families. Nevertheless, Their role is not the same as that of a father or a mother.and that is something that children intuit from very early on.

The bond between grandparents and grandchildren is created from a much more intimate complicity and profound, therefore, its loss can in many cases be something very delicate in the mind of a child or adolescent. We invite you to reflect on this topic with us.

Saying goodbye to grandparents: the first experience with loss

There are those who have the privilege of having one of their grandparents by their side having reached adulthood. Instead, many people had to face their death in early childhoodat that age in which loss is not yet understood in all its realism and where adults, sometimes, explain it poorly, as if trying to sweeten death or pretend “if it didn’t hurt.”

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The majority of educational psychologists tell us very clearly: a child should always be told the truth.. It is necessary to adapt the message to their age, there is no doubt about it, but a mistake that many parents usually make is to avoid, for example, a last farewell between the child and the grandfather in the hospital or to use metaphors such as “Grandpa is on a star or grandma is sleeping in the sky.”

Death should be explained to children in a simple way and without metaphors so that they do not form wrong ideas. If we tell him that Grandpa is gone, the child will most likely ask when he is coming back.

If we explain death to the child from a specific religious vision, It is necessary to emphasize the fact that “he is not going to return”. A young child can only absorb limited amounts of information, so explanations should be as brief but simple as possible.

A necessary duel

It is also important to keep in mind that Death is not a taboo and the tears of adults do not have to be hidden from the eyes of children.. We all suffer the loss of a loved one and it is necessary to talk about it and vent it. Children will do it in their time and in their moment, therefore, we must be adequate facilitators of that process.

Children will ask us many questions that need the best and most patient answers. The loss of grandparents in childhood or adolescence is always complex, so It is necessary to go through this grief as a family being very intuitive about any need of our children.

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Always present

The grandparents, even if they are not there, They are still very present in our livesin those common scenarios that we share with our family and even in that oral legacy that we offer to new generations, to new grandchildren or great-grandchildren who were not able to meet their grandfather or grandmother.

The grandparents held our hands for a while, while they taught us to walk, but then what they held forever were our hearts, where they will sleep eternally, offering us their light, their memory.

Their presences still inhabit those yellowed photographs that are kept in frames, and not in the memory of a mobile phone. Grandpa is in that tree that he planted with his hands, in that dress that our grandmother sewed for us and that we still have. They are in the smells of those cakes that live in our emotional memory.

Their memory is also in each of the advice they gave us.in the stories they told us, in the way we tie our shoes and even in that dimple on our chin that we have inherited from them.

The figure that will accompany us all our lives

Grandparents do not die because they are inscribed in our emotions in a more delicate and profound way than simple genetics. They taught us to go a little slower and at their own pace, to savor an afternoon in the countryside, to discover that good books have a special smell since there is a language that goes far beyond words.

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It is the language of a hug, a caress, a knowing smile. and a walk in the middle of the afternoon sharing silences while we watch the sunset. All of this will last forever, and that is where the true eternity of people occurs. In the loving legacy of those who truly love us and honor us by remembering us every day.