Give emotional support: 5 keys

It is likely that on more than one occasion we have been next to a close person when they were immersed in an unpleasant emotional state. Furthermore, in this situation we wanted to provide emotional support and act as your support; However, we have not known how to do it, feeling very clumsy.

From the literature, emotional support can be understood as “the establishment of a personal relationship between the affected person and the person who intends to provide help, in order to provide tranquility and support, create a climate of trust, reduce their fears and anxieties, encourage their emotional expression and help them adapt to the problem” (Elsass, Duedahl et Cols., 1987).

By providing emotional support effectively what we do is generate and protect a space for listening, security and comfort in which the other can express themselves freely, without feeling judged. In consultation, what we do, after the evaluation and assessment of the case, is to provide a series of tools that the person can use to get out of that situation.

However, if we are not professionals, what can we do? Well, here goes a kind of first aid kit that we can apply in this situations.

Keys to providing emotional support

1. Find an appropriate place

It’s about looking for a comfortable place, away from distractions (television, radio, mobile phones, other people who may appear,…), where the person is safe and the dialogue, once started, can be interrupted by as few external elements as possible.

2. Active listening, without judging

Listen carefully and attentively It is one of the best ways to provide emotional support. Often, the person needs someone to help them construct a story of what has happened: a story that they can integrate into their life story and with which they can live.

On the other hand, listening is not giving solutions. Maybe you are very clear about what you would do in your place. He thinks that his place is his alone, shaped by an enormous number of particularities. In addition, try to include as few elements as possible that are from your collection in the memory you are making of their story. You may think that he didn’t do something out of shame, unless he tells you that feeling is not necessarily part of what has happened to the other person.

3. Practice empathy

We have pointed out before that empathy is still a kind of utopia: it is not possible to put ourselves in the other’s place. By this we do not mean that we rule out the idea of ​​trying to understand what is happening from their point of view (it will always be better than doing it from ours). In this sense, when we do it, let us not forget to put a point of caution because this exercise, by definition, is imperfect.

If the person starts to cry, let them express the emotion. Crying is one of the best ways to show emotions and heal the soul. It is one of the best ways to say: “I am human and I need your company.” Don’t try to interrupt their crying as this could make them feel misunderstood or embarrassed.

4. Show affection

Affection is rarely too much. It can be feedback for the other, that sign that we have listened to them, the message that after their trip/story they are still accompanied. This affection can be materialized through a hug, but also with a gesture or simply with words.

5. Search for information or professionals

Professional help, provided by qualified professionals, will always help. There will be situations that require it and others that do not, but in any case it will always add up.

Fortunately, a good part of society has begun to question the idea that to the psychologist Only people who are crazy go. On the contrary, People who love each other and want to take care of their mental health go.

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