Gather the family for meals. It’s good for everyone!

Food, affection and culture are served together when the family gathers to have a meal. This habit, however, has been losing ground to the tight schedules of fathers and mothers who work outside the home and children who are divided between school and other activities. But it’s worth making the effort to change that. A study by the Harvard School of Pedagogy, in the United States, revealed that those who regularly share meals with their family eat better and have greater physical and emotional well-being.

Children and adolescents are still favored in social development. Little ones expand their vocabulary and are almost twice as likely to get good grades. The more meals with parents, according to research by the National Center on Drug Addiction and Abuse at Columbia University, the more children do well in school and delay sexual initiation; and the less they drink, smoke, use drugs, get depressed, fight, or develop eating disorders (such as anorexia).

”These moments of union are a rich opportunity for conviviality and learning. The encounter and presence increase the affection between parents, children and siblings”, confirms psychologist Áderson Costa Júnior, from the Psychology Institute of the University of Brasília (UnB). “During the meal, the more understanding and attention to listening, dialoguing and showing affection, the more the child will be encouraged to extend these attitudes to other areas of life, such as school and relationships with friends”, believes educator Cris Poli, presenter of the show Supernanny Brasil, on SBT.

Children Today, Teenagers Tomorrow

To make the family meal something natural, it is best to follow this rite as long as the child is able to sit at the table. Once the habit is formed, it becomes easier to demand that children, in adolescence, participate in breakfast, lunch or dinner and interact with their parents and siblings. If the children are grown and you haven’t cultivated this custom, it’s still time to adopt it, but know that it won’t be easy, it will require conviction, determination and common agreement between you and your husband.

“In early childhood, from 1 to 7 years old, character is formed and, therefore, it is essential that parents are present, at least at mealtimes”, explains Cris Poli. ”In adolescence, a person opens up to the world and begins to form opinions. Take advantage of the relaxation at the table to find out what the children think and help them to have principles, character and personality”, says couple and family therapist Magdalena Ramos, professor at PUC in São Paulo. And you don’t have to be afraid of dense subjects. ”It is through discussions and differences that criteria and values ​​are transmitted”, completes Magdalena. Professor Áderson Costa believes that families who are willing to have heated conversations cope better with stress and develop more trust in each other.

well resolved issues

In addition to the social and cultural aspects of learning, the emotional aspect is also benefited. “Children feel more cared for, protected and loved, because of the proximity”, believes Magdalena. The positive results, however, depend on the attitude of the parents. ”Children learn by observation. Present, talkative and attentive parents are sources of information for the little ones. Every experience that reinforces these bonds and generates motivation increases the children’s perception that they have support, in whom to trust. And trust implies quality of life and less stress”, concludes Professor Áderson, from UnB.

What if families can’t get together for meals? One suggestion is to invest in meeting weekends. For Cris Poli, all times can be valid: “What matters is the quality of the time the family is together. A weekly chat can be more productive than daily meetings of a family that does not have quality coexistence”, he believes.