Gaslight or gaslighting: what it is, how to recognize it and how it affects mental health

What is gaslighting or gaslighting and why is it called that? This expression was coined in psychology to describe a dynamic of perverse coexistence and was inspired by a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton that a few years later became the famous film “Luz de Gas” (1944) versioned in its day by George Cukor and for which the enigmatic actress Ingrid received an Oscar. Bergman.

With her it designated a form of manipulation that often occurs in abusive relationships. An undercover type of emotional abuse in which the harasser or abuser deceives the person by creating a false narrative and making him question his own judgments and reality.

As a last resort The effect that causes the victim is that they begin to feel insecure and to doubt their own perceptions of the world and even falls into confusion, doubt, fear and wonders if they are losing their minds (M. France Hirigoyen, 1998)

This phenomenon has been described especially in love relationships but it can also occur between friends, family members, or even co-workers. The goal is always to exercise power over the other in order to manipulate them based on their own interests.

Meaning of “gas light” or gaslighting: what is it

To understand what “gas light” or “gaslighting” consists of, we can analyze the plot of the film “Luz de gas” that gave its name to this type of abuse. The fascination of this film is that it does something difficult: He describes with the precision of a surgeon the perverse and subtle dynamics that take place between the couple. Thus, during the disturbing development of it, he reveals to us the tricks of a loving husband under whose mask hides a murderer, perverse and manipulative who deceives a young, beautiful, delicately educated woman by marrying by the mere relationship with an aunt to whom he had murdered years ago.

He lives obsessed with getting his famous jewels. So, he marries her, at the same time that they settle together in the aunt’s house, scene of the old crime, where he still ponders that the precious jewels can be hidden, at the same time, he separates her from her family by displaying an iron and exhaustive control.

He knows that he cannot murder her because it would raise the suspicions of the police about his false identity, so he hatches a more ambitious and sophisticated plan: drive her crazy, lock her up in a psychiatric hospital and thus get a free hand to enjoy her precious possessions and find out where the jewels are hidden. As it does? He chooses to indirectly get rid of her. Psychologically murder her.

The most fascinating thing in these cases, according to Andrew D. Spear, professor of philosophy at Grand Valley State University in Michigan (USA), is that controlling the victim or making things go his way is not sufficient. What is really essential for him is that his victim come to agree with him. Thus, his will annulled, the victim, like an innocent little lamb, heads to the slaughterhouse: psychic death.

And weaves, for this, a subtle spider web. He gently pushes her over the precipice of despair. But how do you manage to make her believe that she is losing her mind? How to identify the perverse mechanisms of communication?

consequences of gaslighting or do gaslight in mental health

Gaslighting is bound to cause uncertainty and doubts, which are often detrimental to the mental health of the victim and to maintain the principle of reality of what happens there. The person who is gassed may experience:

Gas light: examples to know if they are doing it to you

The psychological literature has described various tricks intended to create confusion in the victim and make her doubt about her perception of reality, undermine her memory and modify her memories.

The first thing a pervert does is objectify the person. He considers the other an object to get rid of if it does not serve his interests. One way to do this is to attribute malicious and perverse intent to the other. Make him the object of your hate. These are some examples of how one person gaslights another.

Spread rumors about the victim

Spreading rumors and gossip about the victim or magnify any mistake you may make or appearance thereof. This tactic is usually tremendously effective and many people side with the bully without knowing the full story. (Ather, K. 2018).

It is very easy for group dynamics to be activated in work environments where perverse relationships have been established of power that generate divisions and confrontations, sometimes explicit, sometimes hidden, destined to calm the paranoid anxieties of the leader.

Tries to inhibit the thought of the victim

This is one of the main mechanisms described by Mari France Hirigoyen (1998) that are deployed during the mastery phase. The important thing is that the victim does not think, they already do it for her and they also tell her what to think. It brings into play the mechanism of domination.

In the film Gaslight we are shown how when he knows that she is alone in her room, he manipulates the mechanisms that regulate the intensity of the gas light and by always denying the reality of the facts and lacking witnesses, he cleverly leads her to believe that she is losing her mind . According to Ather, K. of the University of New South Wales (Australia), the result of these maneuvers is that the person doubts their perceptions, skills and mental state.

They openly lie and never get off the donkey. Even when confronted, it is easy for them to respond by saying: “You are making things up”, “You are crazy”, “That was not so”.

Thus, in the film, when the victim tries to communicate her doubts, questions him and stops behaving like a docile object, danger arises. He feels threatened and attacked and responds by turning the tables. In seconds, he deploys cold violence, where threats to lock her up in a psychiatric hospital are insinuated, and he legitimizes his actions by presenting himself as the victim of a mental illness or a desperate situation.

They deny the greatest. And, as Ariel Leve, who suffered this type of violence with his mother during his childhood, said: “never expect them to recognize anything they do to you.”

Promotes feelings of guilt

Any honest conversation about how you feel with a pervert about what is going on in the relationship that involves an implicit acknowledgment that something is wrong and involves taking responsibility is useless. They deny their participation. they downplay your feelings and can easily accuse you of being overly sensitive.

The denial of hurtful behavior it makes the victim feel completely defenseless in the face of the other’s lack of recognition and is treated as if the emotional impact on her was not important.

Regarding the experience of guilt, Marie France Hirigoyen (1998) clearly explains how to get to this point:

“The victims are the only ones who bear the blame, while the aggressors always get rid of it. It is difficult to let go of an alienating relationship. Once they are in the guilty position, the victims feel responsible for the way the relationship is. His guilt does not take reality into account in any way. They internalize what aggresses them”.

If you think you are suffering from an abusive relationship of this nature It is good that you reconsider it and go to a professional to help you clarify what is happening and untangle together the reasons for how you feel.