33 silly phrases to make your day funnier

The important thing is not to know, but to have the phone number of someone who knows.

Why does “already” mean now, and “already, already” means soon?

A swallow alone than badly accompanied.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t talk nonsense… but sometimes I lie!

A fish’s last words: I’m fried!

The government is enough of a thief, work!

Lemon is an orange in a bad mood.

When the clock was invented, how did they know what time it was?

In Portugal, restaurants close for lunch.

Life is too short to drink cold coffee.

I thought that pneumonia was a disease of some virus that I had in the tire.

I wouldn’t give anything to the shovel but the bakery.

I intend to marry a woman named Vitória, just so I can always say that Vitória is mine.

It’s the idiots who make life worth living.

I have an eye, already the utensil.

Once upon a time there was a chick with one eye. One day he went to blink and slept.

If you’re not very well, download it and continue.

A good musician is what touches your heart.

Teamwork is great as it allows you to place the blame on someone else.

Never play with fire… he’s boring and doesn’t know how to play!

If time was money, my watch would be a millionaire.

If the video game interferes with studies, stop studying.

And that good rocker from the 80’s who didn’t use drugs and didn’t mess with others, Bon Jovem.

If they call a bike a bike, why don’t they call a motorcycle a mike?

He told me: either add or add. I preferred to disappear, I hate math.

Every idiot’s dream is to evolve and become just dumb.

I think my bed has been working out its legs… it has the biggest mattress.

Clean voting means passing 70 alcohol on the voter registration card before voting.

Is gold related to dogs? Because it has carats…

If we throw a ball of paper at the computer screen, can we hit the desktop trash?

After the storm, the calm Maria always comes.

Abbreviation: Opening the door of a police car.

The human being is the animal most similar to us.