Freedom and love are not rivals, it just takes time to understand

Funny to think that life takes care of bringing you closer and meeting people at the right time, right?! I remember when I met you years ago and how much sense at that time it didn’t make so much sense to have you in my life, but look at me here, remembering the moment you walked into the bar a few weeks ago and how much my heart fluttered and The only thing I could think about was how beautiful you were. The years have done you so well…

I have liked the light way things have been going. It’s fun being with you, you know? I never thought it would be possible to be with someone without having to worry about charges. With you I don’t feel obliged to do anything other than what I want. It’s nice to be able to be myself and know that’s enough.

You take away a good side of me, a more uninhibited side, a more joyful side… a side that is more mine and that side has become more and more yours. It’s nice to be with someone who’s nice to me, just for a change.

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I know you’ve been through a lot to get here and you’re scared, you can see when you’re too involved how scared you are and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been scared of everything that’s happened too.

I’ve seen this movie about allowing yourself to be on the screen of my life and most of it ends with me sitting crying thinking about what I need to do so that guys stop looking at me as a “great friend” and understand that I can be more than that, but with you it’s different, it’s been different, precisely because we’ve been friends above all, but we’ve built something bigger than that along with it all.

You give me butterflies in my stomach, you know? The ones that when you arrive I get restless and if I could I would jump in your lap to hug you, but by social convention I hold back, because I’ve been trying to hold back the wave… I know how afraid you are to get involved, I know how much you are hurt and I know that the risk of you letting your insecurities speak louder than your feelings is too great.

I know how much you value your freedom and I know you know that I value mine a lot too and that’s one of the reasons why I’m so afraid but you can trust me, okay?! I know it’s scary, but it’s okay to go scared. We discover how things will unfold along the way. There’s no reason to be in a hurry.

Even because, one thing I learned is that freedom and love are not rivals and that it’s just a matter of time to understand.

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Diandra Ferracini