Fetish: understand what it is and know if it can be a problem

Fetish is a subject that always arouses a lot of curiosity. But do you know what is, in fact, considered a fetish? Is it the same thing as sexual fantasy? It’s normal? Keep reading the article and have these and other questions answered.

What is fetish?

According to psychologist Raelly Beatriz Gomes Benetti (CRP 08/31139), the word fetish derives from “fétiche” (“spell” in French), which gives the sense of bewitching, being enchanted by something. “From a psychological point of view, a fetish is an erotic attraction to some object, part of the body, physiological functions, scenarios, etc., so that sexual pleasure occurs through these”, explains the psychologist.

The fetish is different from sexual fantasy, which, in turn, is characterized as “wills, ideas or mental images that mobilize sexual desire, which may or may not be put into practice in reality”, comments Raelly. So, the main difference between fetish and sexual fantasy is that the fetish is the means by which a person obtains sexual satisfaction and reaches orgasm, while fantasies are possibilities of experimentation in sex.

10 types of fetish

In the eyes of those who do not practice them, they may seem strange. But if there is consent and pleasure involved, there is no reason for prejudice. There are many existing fetishes, but here we list the main ones. Check out!

1. Podolatry

Podolatry is the foot fetish. It is one of the most common and happens when someone enjoys sniffing, licking, kissing or caressing their partner’s feet during sex. There is also altocalciphilia, the fetish for high heels. In some cases of foot pain, people feel attraction when their partner walks on their body – wearing high heels or not.

2. Voyeurism

It is a fetish in which he is aroused by watching the sexual act or by observing naked bodies. This fetish does not usually involve the sexual act, and the voyeur takes pleasure only in watching or touching himself while watching. When there is consent between the parties involved, there is no problem with this fetish.

3. Exhibitionism

Unlike the voyeur, the exhibitionist takes pleasure in showing off. It can be during the sexual act, masturbation or also being observed naked. It’s also a fetish that doesn’t pose any problem if there’s consent between the parties; otherwise, it is considered a crime.

4. Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is part of the BDSM universe. It usually involves two people, one who plays the role of dominator and the other the submissive. Pleasure comes from pain, either by the one who gives it or by the one who receives it. Some BDSM relationships have very clear roles of who is the dominant and who is the submissive part of the relationship; in others, both parts are a little of each.

Contrary to what many people may think, the relationships involving BDSM are very well agreed between the parties. The use of a safe word during the act or scene guarantees the physical and emotional integrity of the submissive person.

5. Latex

Many people get immense pleasure from wearing or watching someone wearing clothing made of latex, PVC, leather, vinyl, rubber, or other shiny, tight-fitting materials. Even the smell of these materials can arouse pleasure in people with this fetish.

6. Bondage

Bondage is consensually restricting, arresting or tying a partner. Ropes, handcuffs, blindfolds, collars, gags, among other objects can be used. Within bondage, there is shibari – the Japanese method of tying with ropes. Bondage can have sensory, sexual or just aesthetic purposes.

7. Domination and submission

It is also part of BDSM and characterizes people who enjoy dominating or being dominated. Within the BDSM universe, the term “top” is used for dominators, “bottom” for submissives and “switch” for those who occupy both positions. Domination and submission are not always in sexual activity or only in it. It all depends on what is agreed between the parties involved in the relationship.

8. Pet play

Pet play is when a role-play takes place in which at least one of the parties acts with animal characteristics. It can involve props such as ears, clothes, collars, tail-shaped plug, among others. Usually the practice extends beyond sex – the person develops an animalistic persona.

In the staging, the relationship of domination and submission is common, in which one of the parties plays the owner and the other is the pet. Usually the staged animals are dogs, cats, ponies, among others. The pet does not speak during the scenes, but can bark, meow, among other gestures.

9. Claustrophilia

It’s the pleasure of being in a small space. It can be a small room or a hidden place. It is the desire for confinement. Space can also be a cage or cage.

10. Odaxelagnia

It is the fetish of biting and/or being bitten. During the sexual act, it is common for bites to occur, but for people who have this fetish, it is a more intense act. The fetish may be accompanied by the pleasure of biting a specific part of the body or being bitten.

There is nothing bad or wrong with fetishes when there is consent between all parties involved. Even in practices considered extreme or that cause strangeness to strangers, when there is consent and the exchange of pleasure, everything is fine!

Can the fetish be a problem?

Raelly clarifies that having a fetish does not characterize a problem, but there are observations and reflections on the subject that should be made. “It is understood that if the sexual relationship takes place between two adults, able to consent, that it is pleasurable and takes place in a private environment, where only those who wish to be there participate in the act, regardless of the practice that is adopted, it is a healthy sexual relationship”, explains the psychologist.

The fetish can become a problem when it is the only way to obtain pleasure and is disconnected from a consensual relationship, being imposed on the partner, causing discomfort and/or embarrassment.

In addition, Raelly comments that some fetishes can pose risks to those who practice them. “Some sadomasochistic acts, such as satisfaction for bleeding, can be risky. In these cases, in addition to consent, it is important to take all precautions so that the practice does not cause any further discomfort or harm in other areas of the subject’s life”, she emphasizes.

Therefore, before performing a fetish, have full conviction of what you want and be in agreement with all parties involved. If necessary, choose a safe word, which can be said at any time when you feel that the limits have been crossed. With or without fetish, the sexual act needs pleasure and consent.

What to do when fetish becomes a problem?

Raelly says that while performing fetishes is something that is pleasurable for some people, for others it can generate some kind of conflict. “If the subject does not feel comfortable with the desires he has, as a result of shyness or because he treats sex as a taboo, the person is advised to look for more on the subject and talk to his partner to try it out, little by little. , these new practices”, guides the psychologist.

If the practice of the fetish has generated some kind of anguish or suffering, if it is the only way to obtain pleasure or if it has caused damage to the person’s self-esteem, health or relationships, Raelly advises that you look for a mental health professional and start a process of psychotherapy.

It is necessary to understand the impacts of these experiences in life in order to better deal with the anguish that arise from them. And this is possible from psychotherapeutic treatment.

Videos and stories about the fetish

Stories about fetishes are important for you to understand that it is something common and that almost everyone has it. So watch the videos below and understand more about it.

Fetish in staging animals

Pet play is a fetish much more aesthetic than sexual. Because it’s very light, it’s a common practice for those new to BDSM. Watch the video to better understand what this fetish is.

What is foot podlatry and variations

Here, the youtuber explains what foot podolatry is and comments on how this fetish manifests itself in different ways. Watch the video to learn more about the practice!

Demystifying the practice of BDSM

In this video, sexologist Cátia Damasceno clarifies some myths surrounding the practice of BDSM. If you are a layman and are interested in knowing more about this universe, follow all the tips!

Is having a fetish normal?

Anyone who has a fetish or even those who don’t may be wondering if having a fetish is normal. In the video, some fetishes are presented and the youtuber answers if having a fetish is something normal.

There is no doubt that having a fetish is something completely normal when there is consent between the parties involved. Also check out how to enjoy alone and learn to pleasure yourself!