Expert tips for overcoming grief when a pet dies

Dealing with death is not an easy task and this is no different in the case of Pets🇧🇷 Although each person faces grief differently, pets are part of the family and, when they leave, they leave a huge void. However, as painful as the process is, it is necessary to overcome it in order to move forward.

The loss can happen for several reasons, some more aggressive than others, but saying goodbye to a pet is never simple. “When the death happens due to an illness and the animal was already undergoing some treatment, we see that the acceptance ends up being faster. Especially in cases where the patient’s condition evolves critically and the prognosis is no longer favorable”, says Marina Bueno, veterinarian at Animal Place. “In this case, there is some emotional preparation, but death is no less painful”, emphasizes Rachel Rebouças, a psychologist at All Clinik, in Rio de Janeiro.

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When a pet dies, it is possible that the family structure is affected. This is especially true in cases where the mascot was present in various day-to-day activities and was great company for family members. “So, ideally, the family routine should be readjusted”, advises Rachel.

Some children can suffer a lot from the situation, especially those who are old enough to understand that the animal is gone. “They create a very close relationship with the pet. Most of the time, he helps little ones relate to the world. That’s why they can feel a lot”, explains Juliana Germinari, a psychologist and psychoanalyst partner at Kiddo. “This could be the ideal moment to introduce the subject ‘death’ into the child’s universe, which should be addressed as they show curiosity about the subject”, suggests Rachel.

And it’s not just humans who suffer, no! The other animals in the house also miss the one who left. “When Funny died, still a puppy, my son was very sad. But not only him: my other dog, Brisa, also felt that situation a lot. She started to itch a lot and to have hair loss”, reports Tatiane Zuniga, veterinarian at Animal Place.

Many adults feel repressed during the time of mourning over the judgment of others. This is because a large part of society still thinks that the tutor’s affliction is “exaggeration” or “freshness”.

“The most important thing is to be able to experience this suffering without fear or shame. Grief has to be experienced so that it can come to an end. If the person tries to fill that void with something, he will not be able to face the situation head on, which will end up lasting longer. It may seem strange, but for the pain to go away, it has to be felt. Talk to people close to you who understand the relationship you had with the pet and who wouldn’t judge you. Only those who have gone through this suffering understand this suffering”, says Juliana.

“You have to experience grief in all its dimensions. You must prioritize your emotions and respect yourself, not taking into account what others are thinking or saying, especially in this moment of anguish. Meanwhile, the people around you can help, making themselves available and respecting your time”, teaches Rachel.

According to experts, when the loss is unbearable, the ideal is to seek professional help. This is indispensable when you realize that it is very difficult to overcome the pain alone, when the suffering is going on for a long time and/or when the situation is interfering with your day-to-day activities, for example.

Adopting a new pet can work for some families to get over their loss, but it doesn’t always work out. “For some, it can be a comfort. For others, the attempt to ‘replace’ the lost pet may sound offensive”, points out Rachel. “When I went through this, at first I didn’t want another animal, but then I realized that it was an important complement for me. I also saw that it would be giving another pet the opportunity to be loved, as much as the one that died”, says Patrícia Andrioli, veterinarian at Animal Place, remembering a little about her personal experience.

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According to Juliana, the ideal time to get rid of the pet’s belongings is when the person feels prepared for it. “She must realize that the objects in question are no longer so important”, she advises.

There are also deaths caused by infectious diseases. “In this situation, the recommended thing is to dispose of things immediately and carry out a good disinfection of the environment, avoiding keeping animals in the same place for a period. In other cases, when the tutor is ready, he can take advantage of some items and donate them… They will always be accepted with affection!”, adds Marina.