Emotional self-awareness: what does it consist of?

Emotional self-awareness is the ability that people have to connect and understand our emotional states. Something so easy to define is, in reality, a very complicated dimension to carry out. Monitoring ourselves is not a task to which we dedicate a lot of time, we do not consider it important or even more so: we do it incorrectly.

Instead of unraveling the emotion felt, it is more cathartic to patch it up. An example of this is turning to food to relieve anxiety or discomfort or spending two hours playing video games to not think about what hurts, what worries you. In this way, we gradually become true exiles from our emotional universe. In people who prefer to neglect them rather than face what they really want to tell us.

Thus, it is important to consider a small detail. High self-awareness is an indicator of psychological well-being. It is having the ability to know what is happening inside us and this is an extraordinary competence of emotional intelligence. Likewise, whoever allows themselves to delve deeper into that dimension also enables themselves to understand the emotions of others.

What is emotional self-awareness useful for?

What we feel shapes the way we think and induces us to behave in such a way. Having this simple rule of three clear, we can deduce what it means to not connect, understand or dominate each emotion that controls us in each circumstance. Without emotional self-awareness we often act out of mere impulse, which results in clearly maladjusted behaviors.

Now, within the field of social sciences, self-awareness is a psychological variable of great importance for mental health and our daily performance. Research work such as those carried out by the universities of Southern California and Hamburg in Germany, Self-awareness is the ability to recognize one’s own existence.

Without it we would not be able to reflect on ourselves, on our decisions, relationships and the way we understand the world. Therefore, it is also decisive that this dimension integrates the emotional aspect. As Daniel Goleman points out, it seems that this area is the least visible within the theory of emotional intelligence.however, is decisive. Let’s understand the reason.

The need to stop operating in “autopilot” mode

Emotional self-awareness is decisive to have greater control over ourselves, over what we think, decide and do.. If we do not exercise adequate control over this area, we will be acting on autopilot. That is, we will get carried away by everyday events without knowing how to act upon them.

We will also limit ourselves to being slaves to our emotions, frustration, anger or sadness without knowing how to regulate them.

Master emotions to get what we want

Without emotional self-awareness we let ourselves be carried away by stress, anxiety, anguish, constant worry… Nothing can be achieved when the mind wanders erratic and anchored to those emotional states. Without emotional self-control there is no behavioral self-control, motivation or achievement orientation.

The moment we make contact with what is happening inside us, we take care of ourselves appropriately to regulate what we feel. So, The person who has a good command of their emotional self-awareness can direct emotions and thoughts towards the goals they set for themselves..

Internal and external emotional self-awareness to relate better and potential self-esteem

In a research project at the IE University of Madrid, a study was carried out to evaluate the benefits of developing competencies based on emotional self-awareness in students. Something that could be seen is that not only the achievement of goals was improved, as we have already pointed out.

This dimension favors a better understanding of internal emotional states to optimize relationships with others. External self-awareness is that which allows us to connect with other people’s realities and act in harmony.. Likewise, we manage to work creatively and productively, both individually and in groups, feeling proud of ourselves and raising self-esteem (Silvia and O’Brien, 2004).

How can I improve this competency?

Emotional self-awareness is not achieved by practicing yoga or doing meditation. We need more robust approaches to engage with on a daily basis. It is an exercise in constant dialogue with ourselves to monitor ourselves, know ourselves and control ourselves. Thus, and on average, the following strategies will be helpful to us:

Connect with each emotion felt, give it space, recognize it and ask yourself why it is there. Become aware of how these emotions affect your life, how you react, decide, relate… Assume whether it would be a good time to make a change, to control and transform those emotional states so that they benefit you in your daily life.Clarify your values, goals and life meanings. Are you in harmony with them? Do you act according to those principles or should you also improve some aspect?Learn to connect with the emotional realities of others to act in harmony, with respect, with assertiveness.

To conclude, it is time to develop this psychological competence to the maximum. Being emotionally self-aware improves our social and mental well-being to be more competent and achieve fulfillment.

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