Emotional blackmail and manipulation

Emotional blackmail is a form of control that uses guilt, obligation or fear. The objective is to get another person to act according to interests that are in favor of the person doing the blackmail.

It is a way of manipulating the will of others that It is based on provoking negative feelings from which the blackmailed person does not seem to be able to escape.unless he does what the “blackmailer” wants.

We have all been involved in a similar situation at some point, either as victims or as executioners. But, Why do we manipulate or let ourselves be manipulated?

The silent emotional blackmail

Emotional blackmail is infiltrated into our relationships so, sometimes, it is difficult to determine when we are blackmailed or when we are blackmailers. It is usually done unconsciously and this makes it more difficult to detect manipulation..

Phrases like “you will know what you are doing”, “you make your decision” or “if you loved me you wouldn’t do that” are an example of manipulation. Sometimes, messages that a priori seem harmless can carry a charge of intentionality, They seek to put fear into the other person if they do not comply with the blackmailer’s wishes.

We generally associate manipulation with Machiavellian, twisted, and selfish people. But in practice, we all resort to some type of emotional blackmail from time to time. One plays the role of manipulator as long as one tries to control what another person says or does, one demands and does not give an alternative choice or the other person’s self-esteem is blown up.

What is an emotional manipulator like?

We have already pointed out that it can be difficult to identify emotional blackmail. However, People who have a tendency to manipulate share a series of characteristic traits.

First of all, These are people capable of detecting each other’s weaknesses.. And not only do they identify them, but they have no qualms about taking advantage of it to use them against them. In addition, they tend to be very controlling people.

The manipulator is also tenacious.. He doesn’t stop until he gets what he’s looking for by any means. There are some who use a certain aggressiveness, others use discredit or victimhood, and many are capable of reinterpreting any word or gesture of the other person for their own benefit.

Defend yourself from the blackmailer

Of course, Not all degrees of blackmail are equal, nor do they respond to the same objectives.. Some are innocent and almost harmless. However, others are so twisted that they can end up psychologically dynamiting the other person. Manipulation taken to the extreme can leave a very damaging emotional wound for the person who suffers it.

The emotional blackmailer plays the role of victim, probably full of insecurities and fears. Instead of taking charge of their limitations, they put those weaknesses on the other person, causing negative feelings. The blackmailed person accepts, mainly, out of fear of the consequences, anger or that the blackmailer will carry out his threats.

Defending yourself against a blackmailer depends on yourself. When you believe you are being manipulated, it is best to adopt a passive attitude. Do not refuse, but neither do you simply accept their requests. Leave it on “stand by”.

This time truce will serve to observe the emotions in oneself. Feelings such as guilt, restlessness or frustration are often associated with manipulative practices. No one can direct the actions of another. Therefore, Do not allow anyone to subject your will to emotional blackmail.

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