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What to do when you feel alone and sad

There is a type of loneliness that arises from the feeling of disconnection from our environment. Not feeling validated or not finding meaning in what surrounds us generates sadness and sometimes even anguish. What can we do in these cases? We give you the keys.

What to do when you feel alone and sad? It is often said that Romantic artists, such as Caspar David Friedrich, Heinrich Füssli or Goya, made their loneliness and melancholy an exercise in contemplation and inspiration. They called them cosmic twilight painters because they saw in those hours before nightfall an ideal setting for creation.

It is true that solitary beings sometimes find magical refuges in which to find shelter and grow in many ways. Both emotionally, artistically and even spiritually. However, current times are different and right now Loneliness is a silent epidemic that causes serious mental health problems.

There are many people who feel disconnected from their environment. And that rupture of the social, of what gives meaning, transcendence and purpose to the human being, generates suffering. Because in this accelerated world there are many who remain on the platform of confusion, at that point of stagnation from which to see everything from perplexity and incomprehension.

Loneliness is not an experience that appears only from isolation. This feeling also arises when we feel disconnected from those around us. And that generates sadness, frustration and even fear. How to act in these circumstances?

“Solitude is very beautiful… when you have someone to tell it to.”

-Gustavo Adolfo Becquer-

This is what you can do when you feel alone and sad

At the beginning we pointed out that loneliness is now a silent epidemic. Research work, such as those carried out at King George Medical University, states that Loneliness in itself is not a disease, but it can be the trigger for associated ailments to appear.

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And we insist, the problem of loneliness is not so much that a person is physically isolated from the rest. In reality, this feeling defines a mental state that in turn generates a complex emotional reality. Sometimes, the simple fact of feeling misunderstood, of lacking purpose and not finding meaning in what surrounds us builds that feeling of isolation.

Let’s see what keys can help you in this situation.

1. Name it: label your emotions

No, when someone deals with their sadness and loneliness, the solution is not in looking for company.. The answer and relief for our emptiness is not outside, but inside and this requires first putting a name to what we feel. Now, why is it necessary to “label” or “name” what we experience? Basically, because what is named acquires presence.

A study from the University of California reminds us of the importance of emotional labeling. Expressing in words what we feel allows us to make the problem visible so we can treat it. That is always the first step.

You have to talk and name what hurts, so that it hurts less.

2. Take stock of the relationships you have

You may have a partner, many friends and that family whom you see frequently. However, it is always good to take stock and ask ourselves how those relationships that build our existence make us feel. Do they make us happy? Do you support us? Do they give meaning to our daily lives or do they hinder our dreams and even judge our way of being?

Love is not everything, good love is. People need an affection that enriches us, that drives us and that lets us be. Therefore, when you feel alone and sad, it is a good time to rethink many of your socio-affective ties. Are you with who you really deserve to be with?

3. Ask yourself questions to discover what you need

Talking to yourself is not crazy, it is a mental health strategy. There are times when we function on autopilot, letting things happen by themselves and without assuming control at any time. When anguish, formless sadness and fear without clear triggers arrives, it is time to chat with ourselves and ask questions.

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Am I where I want to be? How I feel? What could I do to feel better? Where am I in my life and where do I want to go?

4. Slow down and reduce stimulation

Life sometimes passes so fast that it blurs us. We let ourselves go like someone climbing an escalator aimlessly.. Maybe it’s time to get off that ladder that everyone climbs and go against the current, take things at a different pace. Slowing down, living a slower day will allow us to clarify priorities.

5. Make small changes

Sometimes small changes bring big revolutions. In fact, it is not necessary for this variation to be 180º. New life stages sometimes begin with a simple change in routine.. It may be time to start those studies that one day you left half done. Today may be the day when it’s worth making that call to that friend you haven’t seen in a while.

Taking a trip, reading a new book, or even taking the long way back to work can suddenly allow us to appreciate new realities that we had not perceived.

Loneliness and negative emotions can fade if we introduce new habits into our lives. Sometimes, we reinforce behaviors that only bring suffering and that it is time to deactivate.

6. Clarify purposes, the key to being able to move forward

We are that society that feels increasingly alone, sad and apathetic. It doesn’t matter that we are more connected than ever. If these connections are not authentic, dissatisfaction will be like a crack in which we will live. It’s not appropriate. We must remember what it is that gives us meaning, that which motivates us and gives us reasons to move forward.

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The purposes must be clarified from time to time, because people change and it is necessary to update goals and objectives. Let’s explore our interior. Let’s dive like divers into the depth of our desires and find what excites us. That will be the key to escape loneliness and look to the horizon with hope.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Tiwari SC. Loneliness: A disease? Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536 Torre J, Lieberman M. Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation. Emotion Review. 2018;10(2):116-124. doi:10.1177/1754073917742706

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