Embracing your inner child brings strength and confidence into adulthood

everyone has one inner child. The child is our channel to the divine. It is she who keeps the flame of life burning, illuminating qualities such as enthusiasm, lightness, curiosity, humor and spontaneity in us.

However, due to our child’s experiences of lack of love, exclusion and abandonment, he withdraws as a form of defense, which does not allow us to fully receive or give love in our adult life.

Our child’s pain has a great impact on our lives, and can act as true programs in our system. limiting our progress.

By being registered internally, they give room to attract similar experiences. In the article The Role of Emotional Pain, I talk more about this phenomenon.

How to transform the pains of our inner child?

Thinking about integrating childhood pains, I would like to share what I call “The three steps to adulthood”. Are they:

Welcoming your child Reframing one’s own history Honoring the ancestors

welcoming your child

In its innocence and total vulnerability, the inner child teaches us the art of trust and, thus, in an act of surrender and humility, it is possible to experience the fusion with the divine.

Accepting one’s own child is the first step towards spiritual maturity. As long as we don’t welcome her, she will continue to be at the forefront of our lives, reacting to everything that refers to her pain.

In addition to attracting more experiences of pain, since they are trapped in certain passages of their history, like a scratched record, they keep repeating such karmic experiences clinging to the idea that “now it will be different”.

However, the situation will not change by itself. It is your reaction and shift in perspective that will allow your experience to change.

Karma is a learning debt. While we don’t learn, we continue and repeat the same experiences, as if we were trapped in a “life matter”.

Without being able to understand what that experience has in store and learn from it, we will continue to reproduce the same situations.

In addition, the child does not have the resources to deal with certain passages in his story. That’s why the adult in us needs to take charge of his own life, which will only be possible if he takes responsibility for his inner child.

Below are some therapeutic ways that can help you in this process:

photo exercise

Choose a child’s photo – preferably from a challenging moment. Put on some relaxing music and light some incense. Make sure that you will not be disturbed during this exercise. Turn off your cell phone and create a moment of intimacy with yourself. Look into your own child’s eyes, cross the timeline and go to the moment of this photo. Connect with your child’s feelings while remaining grounded in your adult self. Welcome all these feelings. Offer your love to this child. Feel it in your heart. You can say internally: “it’s okay”, “now I’m with you”, “you are safe”. Connect with your guides, masters and protectors and, if you have an altar, you can do the entire exercise facing your altar. Breathe deeply and integrate the experience.

card exercise

You can do this exercise after the first one or at any time you like. I suggest using a photo as it always helps to connect. The most important thing is that you create your space of intimacy. Separate four sheets of paper, pen or pencil. Ask your guides and masters to help you in this time of self-healing. Connect with your inner child and allow your child to write you a letter, telling you everything that is happening to them. How she is feeling, where she is within yourself (sometimes she is in a very dark place within us), and what she needs. Allow her to speak openly. Give her a voice. Write without judgment. Give voice to what has been stored inside you for so long. When you feel that you have finished the letter, take a deep breath and thank your inner child. Connect now with the adult in you. And read your child’s letter. Seek to read with compassion seeking to understand and welcome your feelings. Don’t judge her. Remember that she did the best she could with the resources she had. After reading the letter, take a breath and now allow your adult self to write a letter to this child. Remember the content of her letter and try to welcome her in relation to what she reported. Offer her foster care, respect, compassion, protection, love. Some key phrases that “may help: “now I take care of you”, “you can trust”, “you are safe”, “everything is fine”. Always try to speak in the positive, avoiding putting “no” before the verb. Example: “I will not abandon you anymore”, replace it with: “Now I will always be with you”. It is important that you really mean everything you say to your child. The more you get in touch with these feelings of love, the more truth you will have in your words and the more your child will be able to receive this love. At the end of the letter, take one more deep breath. Thank the guides and protectors who were present and ask them to help you in this healing by welcoming and integrating your child.

pillow exercise

After creating your healing field, take a pillow and project your child onto it. This is another way to gain a healthy distance from your child. This distance is important for you to be able to welcome her, because when we are very mixed with her, this is not possible. If you can separate a pillow just for this, even better. This is an exercise you can do whenever you feel the need. In possession of the pillow, after designing your child on it, welcome him in your lap, give him affection and offer him what he needs. You can make use of the suggested phrases and also create your own phrases. Use your intuition. Feel your child. You will know how to say what she needs to hear.

Triggers can trigger the inner child

It’s important to be aware of the triggers that trigger your child. There are certain situations that activate this child’s memories of pain, making him take the situation forward, making us reactive. Be aware of these triggers. Watch yourself. Once you realize that the child’s feelings have been aroused, quickly let the adult in you come to the fore. And say internally to your child, “It’s okay. Now I take care of it. You can trust. You are safe.” Use these key phrases as mantras. They help to strengthen the adult in you.

The more we increase our level of self-responsibility, the more emotionally mature we become.

To identify when the child is wanting to prevail, it is enough to notice in his body if there is any discomfort, feeling of fear, anguish, anger, vulnerability. With practice, you will begin to anticipate risky situations. Practice will also make the child in us begin to relax, as it will feel more and more supported. Over time, trigger situations will become less and less intense and constant.

Remembering that the child has no resources. For this reason, he will always project the cause or solution to his problems onto others and into the world. It is us adults who need to take responsibility for our lives.

Release the child that dwells in you!

An important thing is also to occasionally do things that your child enjoyed. Whether going to an amusement park, watching a cartoon, eating ice cream. With conscience, of course. The point is that the exception does not become the rule. Many people have a “childish” diet, precisely because they have not yet welcomed their inner child. But when we become responsible, it is possible to develop a healthy diet and eventually allow ourselves some pleasures without exaggeration.

Hobbies such as painting, dancing, singing also help to release your child. Playful activities are extremely healing, access deeper layers and develop our skills, spontaneity, lightness.

Go back to being a child whenever possible and with conscience! This way, not only will you be taking care of her, but making adult life lighter and more fun!

The child that dwells in me salutes the child that dwells in you!

If you have any questions or want to share your experience, send me a direct message: @gabi.suryani. Also follow me through the page @sagradofemininouna.