We don’t build happiness on the unhappiness of others. I understand that your partner, by staying in a relationship with the “official” person and maintaining a relationship with you, is depriving that person of having a life and finding someone who truly deserves and values them, taking away their right to be loved with truth and sincerity, as we all deserve and I’m sure, as you also seek to have love.

In the same way, it is taking away from you the same right, to have someone who truly loves you, without masks, without half truths or complete lies, without hiding that feeling. Someone who gives you a real life, who takes you over, takes you to dinner at your great aunt’s house or goes to the supermarket.

On the other hand, you, by allowing yourself to be in this situation (and some are in it for years), are colluding with all this and are making two mistakes.

The first is contributing to the unhappiness of the “official” person that you may hate, for being the official that the other presents in her life, but who is the most innocent person in this whole situation.

The second, you are accepting this degrading situation, failing to value and see yourself, to understand that you are capable, intelligent, and don’t need the alms of comfort of being someone’s lover.

Do you really think that someone who truly loves the other person, as you believe they are loved, will extend this situation many times over for years, taking two relationships on the back burner without truly assuming any?

Look in the mirror! Look how far you’ve come, humiliating yourself, exposing yourself, inventing lies for yourself and others, begging for the love of someone who does nothing but demonstrate that he doesn’t deserve you, nor the person who takes with him as he is the official.

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After you, other or other lovers will come and, if you become official one day, will you be able to live with the ghost of fearing that history will not repeat itself with you?

VALORIZE YOURSELF!

Everyone deserves real love and when we suffer too much, we believe that love doesn’t exist. But it is there and it just didn’t come to you because you’re keeping the doors and windows closed, letting your years and your life pass by trapped in a relationship based on lies, pain and suffering.

Do you cling to the good and beautiful moments, which are which, exactly? What moments do you share that give you an idea of a true, sincere and lasting relationship?

Shared in bed are not valid. Reflect on your routine, on your daily life, on those little things that build a pleasant day to day to feel love.

Every day, dinner, laundry, the yard to clean, the dog to feed, sleeping with a spoon EVERY DAY, making up, having breakfast, taking the kids to school, scheduling the dentist…

It’s not you that this person is sharing his life with. And you deserve someone who wants a life with you!

Think about it…

Nobody builds happiness on top of other people’s unhappiness. As long as you are instrumental in preventing other people’s happiness, I believe, you will not be able to find your own. Not when you purposely impede other people’s happiness.

Be happy… With someone who is truly happy by your side and show every day that he deserves you and wants you around.

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