Does “annoyance” exist? How to deal? – GOOD SHAPE

The adolescence phase is, in general, difficult to deal with, because young people are in the transition between childhood and adulthood, testing their limits and, consequently, those of adults as well.

Many become challengers, they want to try new situations, they need to know what they are capable of and how far they can reach. They go through “youthful omnipotence”, that is, the phase where they think they can do anything and nothing bad will happen to them: you can drive 150km per hour and you won’t have an accident, you can have sex without a condom and you won’t get pregnant or get STDs, you can drink all that he will not fall into an alcoholic coma… and so on. However, we know that this is not the case.

Parents must welcome their children with affection while setting limits, which are fundamental. It’s not “bumping head-on” with the child that the situation will improve, and then one of the most common mistakes in raising children at this stage of life happens: loud fights, where everyone wants to impose their point of view and no one listens or respects the other’s.

When parents are unable to dialogue with their children, giving them a voice to expose their side (and believe me: we can learn from them!), they create a scenario of uninterrupted conflicts that tire, wear out, push the children away and reinforce their contesting side.

Hence the unfortunate word that refers to them as “annoying”, as they are always causing fights and trying to circumvent imposed rules in the house, annoying the parents.

It is necessary to listen, to create combinations that will change in each specific situation, to understand that these teenagers’ brains are in full turmoil, provoking impulsive behaviors in them that are often beyond their control (literally the brain is being formed, chemical impulses and electrical discharges frequently occur in this period of development), and maintain respect in dealing with them. After all, respect should come from both sides.

When this happens, in general, children go through this phase much more smoothly, and will soon enter the next stage of life without major trauma for the family.

Therefore, I dare say here that parents are largely responsible for how this teenager will develop, in the vast majority of cases. If they are mature people, well-worked emotionally, welcoming and with common sense, they will probably know how to educate their children, giving the necessary support – except for cases where the teenager has a psychiatric disorder that must be diagnosed and treated, because otherwise, all the good will of the parents will do no good.

And one more tip: reading books and articles that talk about the subject and also address the influence of parents on the emotional response of their children is important, because in addition to relevant information that will be acquired, it will give them more instruments to apply in their daily lives, providing them more security in their role as parents.