Do you want to be more loved? listen to men

Haste, the enemy of the relationship

Economist Eduardo Aquino, 32, says he is impressed with the speed with which women have been shooting. Recently, he ran into a college friend at the cinema. They chatted animatedly and spent the night in his apartment. As Eduardo loved the experience, he invited her to come back the next day. “She came in, gave me a kiss, went into the kitchen, then into the bathroom,” he recalls. “I thought it was strange, I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, ‘I brought Yakults and Q-tips, as I come here often.’ The meeting, which had good chemistry and promised something more, came to nothing. The economist saw in her initiative an attempt to demarcate the terrain. “I felt invaded,” he complains. She had no boundaries and no sense of reality.”

Clue number 1: Don’t mix things up

It’s not nice to confuse the intensity of what happened in bed with authorization to enter the boy’s private life. In the same vein, lawyer Mauro Falcetti, 33 years old, separated. Scalded cat, he now analyzes each candidate with a magnifying glass. “I dated cool, modern, free women… but almost all of them had the habit of pressing”, he says. “And when I feel pressured, I get out.” If you want to conquer someone who thinks like Mauro, better act calmly. “I like taking steps, taking it easy,” he explains. Men like that don’t fall easily into any trap. At the start of the new single season, he just wanted to breathe, relate without strings attached. The partner of the occasion hinted that he would accept the parade. “But within the first few weeks, he blurted out his wedding plan,” she recalls. “Walking through the mall, she stopped at a baby store and ventured, with an emotional air: ‘Wouldn’t this outfit look great on our little boy?’ I thought in astonishment: ‘Son? My God, already?’ I ended it right there, but I broke the news after a week.” In this case, dear reader, you need to understand that the feeling of imprisonment makes men feel like leaving, running away.

Make a note of this: loving does not mean taking over the other or carrying him to integrate your projects. There’s more: the daring don’t think about the importance of the steps they take. The Jungian psychologist Valter Estevão Eitler observes: “Everything is so fast today that many couples ‘hook up’ and, even before dating, they already get together. Dating is a ritual of approximation, an intermediate step towards a healthy relationship”. See what the chronicler Artur da Távola wrote on the subject: “Whoever doesn’t have a boyfriend is someone who took unpaid vacations from himself… Dating is making pacts with happiness, even if it is quick, hidden, elusive or impossible to last”. Think about these phrases and prioritize conquest, enchantment. According to Eitler, this ritual prepares the next phase, brings something that is happening inside to the external world and reinforces the conviction of what one really wants.