Discovering emotional language: the key to connecting with others

Emotional language is that which communicates emotions. It goes beyond the verbal and, in fact, in some cases, contradicts it. We all pick up on this subtle communication to some extent, but we don’t always pay enough attention to it or decode the messages correctly.

It is important to note that this language permeates all of our communication. Whether we notice it or not, we are always expressing some emotion, even when we are silent.. For this reason, this language of feelings is much richer than that of words. It allows you to get to know anyone better and understand what they feel, beyond what they say.

One of the most interesting aspects of said language is that much of it not under conscious control. Because of this, it is a more genuine type of communication. With it we can establish a deeper connection with others, opening channels that awaken or optimize empathy. Let’s see what this is about.

emotional language

Peter J. Lang, psychologist and professor at the Center for the Study of Emotion and Attention at the University of Florida (USA), is one of the people who has done the most research on emotions and their language. He points out that These manifest themselves in three areas: cognitive, physiological and behavioral..

The first corresponds to thought and reason. The physiological realm has to do with the reactions in the physical organism. And behavioral is related to the behaviors that derive from experiencing a certain emotion.

Let’s take the example of a person who feels sadness. It is likely that some of his common thoughts are: “Nothing interests me” or “I don’t like anything.” Perhaps this manifests itself physiologically as a lack of energy, drowsiness or loss of appetite. In short, in greater passivity. You may stay in bed for several hours, not make plans, or decline invitations from others.

Now, someone may ask you, “What’s wrong with you?” and that person responds: “It’s nothing, I’m just a little tired.”. If the interlocutor stays in verbal language, he may believe that it is just fatigue; Instead, he resorts to the interpretation of emotional language and will capture the gesture, the attitude, the tone of voice and the passive behavior. Then, he will be able to understand that that person is sad or has depressive symptoms.

Lack of energy and passivity, in general, are manifestations perceived through emotional language.

Interpreting emotional language

Emotional language usually appears between the lines, mixed with other types of messages. The words themselves say much more than what is apparent at first glance. A good way to start interpreting it is paying attention to the terms a person uses to say something, especially when they use figurative language.

If someone says that they “work like a mule” they are not only referring to the fact that they work a lot, but that they also suffer the consequences of it on all levels. Or when a person points out “I’m dying to go to that party”, in addition to his desire to attend, he is pointing out that the event is significant, that there are expectations and illusions around it.

Body language and gestures deserve a separate chapter. Sometimes it is not necessary to decipher it with words, but simply perceive the tone of the voice, the general impression left by the attitude of the body, the intensity of the gaze, etc. From this it is possible to interpret what a person really feels. It is not necessary to “dissect” the message to understand. A global understanding is enough.

The key to emotional language is reading between the lines of what is being said with other messages.

Listening to one’s own emotional language

Each person also communicates with himself, to a large extent, through emotional language. The problem is that we are not always in a position to “listen” when these types of messages occur. A good way to avoid this “deafness” is to start by paying attention to what your own body says..

Muscle tensions located in a specific point, that little pain that does not stop elsewhere or the sensation of cold or heat can be signs of emotions that have not been fully read or interpreted.

Just as important as understanding your own and other people’s emotional language is learning to communicate it. Expressing what you feel is essential for good understanding. They say that knots in the stomach or throat are the same as knots in the hair. The best way to undo them is to put them in order. As? Through the word, which manages to give shape to what did not have it before.

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