Discover the 12 most common phrases of manipulators

The most common phrases of manipulators are like a slow poison that takes time to take effect. Sometimes, the emotional connection you may have with these figures—your partner, your mother, or a best friend—causes you to fall into the trap. You don’t see that behind “you’re an exaggerator, you take everything too hard,” what there is is a clear invalidation of your feelings.

However, over time you discover the consequences of this tactic. Because language that vetoes, that alters the vision you have of yourself or that plays with your feelings, is a type of silent and harmful aggressiveness. Thus, It is important to remember that this communication is a clear form of psychological abuse. We teach you to recognize this dynamic.

Take note of the most common phrases of manipulators

Manipulation generally presents very sinister dynamics. With such mechanisms, whoever practices this harmful art seeks not only to have control, but also aspires to generate mental chaos, insecurity, cloud your self-esteem and nullify your dignity. Likewise, as described in an article in the Journal of Personality, this characteristic is common in close relationships.

Furthermore, although there are various ways to manipulate others – coercion, silent treatment, etc. – deceptive communication is a common resource. Among the abusive registers that these figures use, there are a type of very specific phrases. It is relevant to detect them and not normalize them. Because those who appreciate and respect you should never use these expressions. Take note.

1. “If you loved me, you would do it for me”

As we noted above, emotional manipulation thrives in close ties. They use your feelings as a springboard to exert psychological abuse on you. In this case they will blackmail you by appealing to love to have you under their control. Always remember, someone who truly loves you will never link affection to you doing certain things.

How to respond?

«I don’t need to do X thing to show you my love. Our relationship must be based on mutual respect and understanding, not on impositions or blackmail.

2. “No one understands you as much as I do”

If someone tells you this phrase, they are applying the golden rule of the psychological manipulation manual. What’s more, there is one fact that you will be interested in knowing about this topic. According to a publication by Frontiers in Psychologythere is a type of emotional intelligence that experts classify as “dark” and that usually defines people with narcissistic, psychopathic and Machiavellian traits.

This translates to There are men and women with excellent emotional skills oriented, above all, to the harmful art of manipulation. This will make them seek to cloud your judgment and dignity by making you believe that only they understand you. Not even you.

How to respond?

«I value your support and understanding, but there are many more people in my life who I appreciate and who understand my needs, emotions and the decisions I make. And I’m not going to stop counting on them.

3. “You are too sensitive, you oversize everything”

How many times have they made this comment to you? Among the most common phrases of manipulators, this is one of the big stars. When someone appeals to your sensitivity and vulnerability to tell you that you are exaggerating things, be careful. They seek to invalidate your emotions and make you feel ashamed of yourself. That’s the classic red flag What you should detect in your relationships.

How to respond?

«My sensitivity is part of who I am, and I am not willing to change this. So don’t invalidate me. “I hope we can learn to respect our differences and communicate effectively.”

4. “I tell you this for your own good”

Among the phrases of manipulators there is never a lack of “don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m telling you this for your own good.” With this poisoned reasoning they seek to infantilize you. It is that type of moralizing language that seeks to reduce your strengths, your identity and decision-making capacity. Such passive-aggressive communication is something you should detect as early as possible to defend yourself.

How to respond?

“I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but I prefer to make my own decisions and learn from my experiences, even if I make mistakes along the way.”

5. “Everything I do is for you”

“You don’t seem to realize that everything I do is for you and you don’t thank me for anything.” Have you ever been told this comment? Far from assuming that it is a sign of love and that that person goes out of their way for you, understand what it really is. You are facing a form of emotional manipulation that wants to make you feel bad.

It’s more, Such an argument is used after the manipulator has made controversial decisions or actions. It is then that he tries to justify his behavior in a twisted way. Do not fall in the trap.

How to respond?

«I don’t need you to do everything for me. What I want is a healthy and respectful relationship where we can both be complete, free and happy individuals.

6. “It’s getting more and more difficult to talk to you”

Does anyone close to you tell you that it’s getting harder and harder to talk to you? This is one of the most common phrases of manipulators. Also, you will want to know that With such a comment they apply the psychological technique of gaslighting. As an analysis in Personal Relationships points out, it consists of making you doubt your own competencies and judgments.

How to respond?

«Communication is a matter of two. If you feel there are problems, let’s look for mechanisms to improve it together; with respect, emotional intelligence and honesty. Let’s invest common efforts, but don’t project all the responsibility onto me.

7. “How can you be so insensitive to me?”

Be careful with this new one red flag. Doctorates in the art of manipulation are skilled specimens of victimhood. They will make you believe that you leave them aside, that you do not love them, nor treat them well in order to project the weight of guilt onto you. Do not give in or give value to these words.

How to respond?

«Detail to me in what aspects I am not being respectful to you. Let’s talk. I believe that I have always treated you with love and respect, something that, in turn, I hope you also do with me.

8. “You never take into account what I feel”

The phrases of manipulators will always appeal to the heart of emotions. AND If there is one aspect that they love to exploit, it is guilt. They will seek to make you feel that you are a bad person and that, with your behavior, you cause them infinite suffering. Don’t believe them. Once again, avoid falling into this old trap.

How to respond?

«My intentions have never been to ignore your feelings. I hope you do the same with me and take my emotions into account. That being said, could you now explain to me in detail how you feel so that I can better understand your perspectives?

9. “I can’t believe you’re so selfish.”

When someone close to you drops this comment on you it is because you have done something for your own well-being. An example of this is setting limits. Do not waste mental energy with this phrase, since it is a clear exercise in emotional coercion. If you have decided to do things for your psychological balance or you have given it a refusal, your behavior is correct.

How to respond?

«I don’t consider taking care of myself to be selfishness. I have every right to make the best decisions for my well-being. So I would like you to be able to understand it for the sake of our relationship.

10. “You behave just like X”

Among the most common phrases of manipulators there are rarely comments such as “you look more and more like X” or “X is more intelligent and savvy than you.” These harmful figures will use comparison to put you down. In this way they destroy your self-esteem.

How to respond?

«Don’t compare me to anyone. If you want to make a comment about me, avoid using second people as references. I am me. I deserve respect, so I ask you please not to do it again.

11. “You’re getting more and more out of your mind”

“You’re crazy.” “You need medication.” “You say more and more things that don’t make sense.” Be careful with these types of phrases because they are a form of gaslighting with which to cloud your judgment. Never give validity to similar comments. Remember, they are a clear example of psychological violence.

How to respond?

«Calling someone crazy or saying that they are going crazy is not a constructive form of communication. It’s psychological abuse. I ask you not to make me a comment like this again. I won’t tolerate it. So please, let’s talk about our disagreements in a more respectful and intelligent way, without attacking.

12. “All my suffering is your fault”

“Everything that happens to me is your fault!” Has a couple ever told you that? Your mother or father, perhaps? It is a clear example of manipulation that combines victimhood with the projection of guilt. In these cases, it is decisive to protect yourself as soon as possible to safeguard your mental well-being.

How to respond?

«Projecting a feeling of guilt on myself is not a constructive or mature way to deal with problems. “I prefer that we talk openly, honestly and respectfully about how to improve the relationship and overcome challenges together.”

Protect yourself from manipulators

You have them very close. A manipulator can be your partner, your best friend, your mother and even a co-worker. They are individuals who use emotional and psychological tactics in order to satisfy their needs by instrumentalizing you. And to do this, their language seeks to undermine your confidence and autonomy.

You will find, above all, the blame game and victimization. They are his favorites. Try to detect the signs as soon as possible to emerge unscathed from relationships that, in general, leave serious consequences. Likewise, if you have maintained a long-term relationship with a profile of these characteristics, request specialized help if you need it.

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