17 ideas to improve communication with your partner

Communication is one of the most important elements of the couple, and whether it works well or badly will be an indicator of the satisfaction that each member feels in the relationship. Thus, good communication will guarantee a satisfactory relationship with a future; while a bad one will condemn the bond to failure.

In couple communication Both its content and the way the message is transmitted are important. Well, saying “silly” with an angry face and shouting is not the same as with a seductive look and in a whisper. On the other hand, saying: “You’re a disaster!” is not the same as saying: “Honey, again, be more careful with your shoes when you’ve stepped on the grass.”

Therefore, It is important to take into account some fundamental keys when communicating with our partner. Let’s see what they are.

17 keys to improve communication with your partner

If you want to establish and maintain effective communication with your partner, we advise you:

1. Avoid assuming

We have a bad habit of assuming what our partner thinks and how he or she feels. Do you really think it’s going to be as simple as assuming? No matter how many years of relationship you have, no one has the power to read the minds of others…

Therefore, ask when you don’t understand what your partner wants to tell you, you have doubts or the message you receive is ambivalent. Likewise, stop assuming that the other person must know what you think and feel, without you having tried to communicate it to them.

It is advisable to collate and explicitly communicate the important things, and not get carried away by perceptions. If something is bothering you, talk about it openly to resolve the conflict and move on to something else.

2. Do not interpret

Our language does not need interpretation. The translation is for those who do not speak Spanish. Interpretations are subjective and colored by the meaning you give them. and probably when you do it you will base it on your beliefs and emotions.

When our partner tells us something, we have to make sure we have understood their perspective instead of adding our own to their message. Therefore, again The best option in these cases is to ask so as not to color the information with our vision.

3. Listen actively

We tend to converse without listening, even though we think we really do, Or haven’t you noticed that while the other person is talking to you, you are thinking about what you are going to say next?

Furthermore, not only do you not understand the message when you are not listening, but when the other person realizes it, they will not feel understood and validated by you, perhaps thinking that they have been wasting their time. Thus, Practicing active listening will improve our relationship as a couple.

4. Avoid resorting to the past

What happened in the past has to stay where it happened. Resorting to previous damages and mistakes that our partner made will only make the argument worse. You have to know how to discriminate between what has happened now and what has already happened and If there are pending issues, they can be discussed at another time.

5. If necessary, take a break

If you feel anger or stress, stop. Question yourself, What evidence do I have that what I think is true? Communicating while we are in an irritable mood will only be an obstacle in our relationship.

It is better to pause, relax or calm down and start talking when we are calmer. In this way, we will avoid misunderstandings and increasing conflicts that could affect our relationship.

6. Keep in mind the objective of communication

Sometimes, when we argue or talk with someone, we lose the objective of what we wanted to convey. It’s not bad to provide details, but it’s not bad to beat around the bush either, losing the thread of our conversation.

It is recommended to be clear about what you want to talk about.have a common thread in communication with your partner so as not to get lost in absurd ramblings or ones that have little to do with the main topic.

7. Be empathetic

Being empathetic means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, taking them into account and understanding them. In a relationship, it is a fundamental aspect to communicate because it allows us to take into account the needs and perspectives of the other on any topic; which do not have to coincide with ours. And the latter must be respected and understood.

8. Avoid taking everything personally

At some point our partner may be telling us something and we believe that he may be making references to us indirectly. The important thing in these cases is not to assume. But what if the other person tells us something that we don’t like or expresses what he or she likes and it doesn’t agree with what we think?

Personalizing that what our partner says is because he doesn’t like us or because he is going after us is not the most advisable thing to do. Just as it is not when we have to tell him something to refer to his way of being, but rather It is better to refer to the specific behavior or aspect that has bothered us..

9. Learn to identify when and where to communicate

Not all places or times are ideal to talk about certain topics. Therefore, in communication with your partner It is important to analyze what you want to say and when will be the best time to do it, as well as taking into account how the couple is feeling.

10. Avoid extreme expressions

A habit that does not help at all in couple communication is pointing out the words “always” or “never”, since they make the other feel disqualified. Remember that not everything in life can be classified as black or white, and that in many cases there is a gray scale that we must consider.

Therefore, The ideal is to make punctual and precise criticisms, avoiding generalizations. This way, it will be easier for our partner to receive the comments with greater openness and criticism.

11. Recognize your mistakes

Another important aspect to improve communication is knowing how to recognize when we have made a mistake. In this case, it is not only enough to feel guilty about yourself, but also You should focus on how your partner feels and show them your sincere interest in repairing the damage caused.

In other words, the first step is to recognize the error and then show, through actions and reflections, that there is a desire to resolve the issue.

12. Don’t assume that your partner is your opponent

This especially happens in couple arguments. It is quite common that Each one lets himself be carried away by pride and defends his point of view tooth and nail. However, this attitude only harms the quality of the relationship.

Instead, it is advisable to assume the couple as a team, where both work together to overcome differences and conflicts in a way that benefits both.

13. Know what your partner is passionate about

To have good communication with your partner is to be on the same page as them, and know what they consider important, what they are passionate about. This can help you unite your goals and dreams with those of your partner. Remember that a relationship involves the union of two people with differences, particular tastes and unique visions of life.

14. Don’t ask closed questions

Closed questions (yes or no type) They do not give space to open a conversation with the other person. An open question, on the other hand, does not lead to a specific answer. Although closed questions are important for many situations, communication can benefit from open questions, which generate opportunities to get to know each other more deeply.

15. Don’t stop talking to your partner

At the beginning of a relationship there are many things to talk about late into the night. HE They share the couple’s tastes, desires, vision of life. But over time, these conversations tend to become rarer and it becomes difficult to find moments to talk to each other in the course of everyday life.

16. Have good intentions in our conversations

Finally, there remains perhaps the last ingredient and probably the most important: intention. When you address your partner, do so with the intention of buildingwith the hope that when you finish speaking the other person feels better because you will surely receive the same thing instantly, as if it were a mirror.

There’s no point in doing harm because you don’t gain anything from it. Forget about resentment and bad intentions when communicating with your partnerIf you are angry, take a break and leave the conversation for another time. Do not cloud your intentions with resentment, pride or unreason, spread them with well-being, growth and serenity.

17. Reduce distractions when sharing with your partner

Many times, a couple’s communication is eroded when, when being together, they prefer to be glued to the phone or doing something else separately. So, instead of sharing what they did during the day, how they feel or what they think, each person locks themselves into their own world.

This does not mean that we should always share with our partner. But try to have moments of genuine connection, through communication; where both get involved and can share experiences and feelings.

To conclude, we leave an opportunity for you to learn to communicate and manage emotional aspects in your conversations and relationships with others. You can find it in the course “Improve your communication” by Javier Cebreiros, which will introduce you to the wonderful universe of communicationproviding you with strategies and resources.

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