Discover how relationships change over time

Love, despite what romantic comedies and popular stories insist on telling us, is not forever, or at least it doesn’t have to be to be worth it, to be “true.” And not only because there are cases in which the couple’s relationship dies and ends, but because The passage of time affects everything, both physically and emotionally, It transforms it into something else that is also love, but not the conventional one.

Does this mean that we are condemned to stop loving passionately, to abandon falling in love? Not necessarily. It really is a transformation, the work of the efforts of the members of the couple and the passage of time.

Love is part of human nature, it is complex and felt in many different ways. Therefore, in this space you will find how The years transform relationships into something different, but no less valid. Don’t miss anything, because knowing this process is useful to direct decisions, learn about emotions and refine efforts.

Does the passage of time transform couple relationships?

The truth is that yes. Both the individual maturation stage and the social construction itself, which is love relationships, are susceptible to changes over time.. For example, teenage loves are much more intense and have more toxic components, since at those ages there is a lack of experience and the world is much more inhospitable.

However, falling in love is present at any age, as well as sexual attraction and mature love.. Regardless of when the relationship begins, the changes it will undergo as it continues follow a fairly defined pattern for most of them.

The passage of time affects all spheres of the couple’s relationship.

The phases of the relationship

Generally, three phases are recognized in relationships: falling in love, romantic love and mature love. There are other classifications, but we are going to focus on this one because it is the one that provides the most open information, so that more people can see themselves reflected in it.

Falling in love phase

This phase is most similar to the relationships shown in entertainment media, such as romance novels and movies. It is a period characterized by the praise of the other person’s positive traits, passion and butterflies in the stomach..

For those who have sex, it is also a passionate time when hormones such as oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins are the order of the day. Even if you don’t have relationships, passion is a present feeling.

This state of euphoria, however, is not bearable in the long term.. The physical and mental activation is too much, so the passage of time will make the relationship move towards a calmer state, but not devoid of love. Let’s see it.

Second phase: romantic love

In this phase, passion and love are maintained, but it is no longer blind. The couple enters into a process of mutual knowledge, in which the virtues of each one intermingle with their defects and the first problems to solve appear.. This is where acceptance and conflict resolution skills come into play.

This stage is of vital importance and where many relationships end, as it is where the pillars of communication, respect and tolerance begin to be built. Therefore, it is also the phase in which both people decide whether or not the differences are incompatibilities.. Individual independence also becomes important here, since each person’s needs are overlooked (to some extent) in the previous stage.

Third phase: what the relationship ends up being over time

The third phase is the one most talked about when it comes to long-term relationships: mature love. The couple has become stronger, has developed its own dynamics and strategies for coexistence and problem-solving.. It is a freer love, based on trust and, although passion and sexual desire are less, they are more solid.

The biggest problems that two people face at this stage are monotony, dragging unresolved problems and external agents, such as catastrophes or changes in the socioeconomic paradigm.

Often, this love is represented in two ways: the couple who live together out of habit, hating or disinterested in each other, and the elderly couple who still walk hand in hand. We all want that last image for ourselves, but the real secret is to work on the relationship day by day, rather than letting the years pass by.

In mature love there is a book love based on trust and respect.

Exceptions and new couple models

Most theories that try to fit love into universal norms usually come from the heterocis white imaginary. Nowadays, many other forms of relationships and couples are becoming visible and normalized.. There are many examples: polyamory, couples who decide not to live together, swingers And a long etcetera.

The only variable that remains active and universal in love, whatever its type, is respect. The assumption that the other person is worthy and sufficient, and that, if you truly love someone, their happiness always comes first. Therefore, love who you love, however you do it and for as long as it is, want them free.

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