Digital infidelity: a betrayal minimized by society

With the arrival of technology and its progressive installation in everyday DNA, a new type of emotional betrayal has appeared. We refer to the Digital infidelity, an increasingly common phenomenon and source of suffering and worry in the relationship. Now, it is no longer necessary to leave the house to be unfaithful and this is sometimes used as an excuse and also as a shield.

“But nothing happened!” they tell us. “But we haven’t even seen each other in person! they insist. Despite this, the confusion is the same and the impact hurts due to emotional disloyalty, the breakdown of trust and the flagrant deception of those who seek complicity in another home. In this online world, as we see, one can have several lives parallel to that of the person sleeping next to them without suspecting anything.

Thus, and as striking as it may seem to us, these types of situations do not only appear among digital nomads. Virtual deception does not only arise among millennials and the generation Z. Let’s think that the consumption of Internet pornography, for example, manifests itself in any age cohort and we can also consider something like this as betrayal if the partner does not know it or is not happy with it.

Digital infidelity: betrayals, furtive emotions and reinforcement of self-esteem

Infidelities are no longer what they were, but that doesn’t make them any less serious. If before cheating arose with flirtations at work or with a furtive getaway in the middle of the night in search of something new, now an account on a social network is enough. Also by signing up for applications designed for this purpose. Some likessome off-color comments on a photo, a direct message and the game begins, digital flirting.

There are many who believe that digital infidelity is not real infidelity. However, Where is the limit? Where is the manual that allows us to differentiate which is permissible and which is not? Research work, such as that carried out at the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (NIMHANS) in Bangalore (India), says it clearly: Online infidelity is perceived as traumatically as real infidelity. Let’s dig a little deeper.

The digital world, the scene of ambiguity and remote betrayal

Digital infidelity is carried out secretly. We check our phones when our partner is not looking for a new message. We have conversations or do sexting (sending messages or photographs with high sexual content) behind the other’s back and in a furtive manner. Is this type of behavior really not a problem?

There are many who still see some confusion in digital infidelity. After all, that racy Instagram flirtation almost never amounts to anything real. How important is it if one continues to love one’s partner? they insist. In that online world, the possibilities are endless and there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of it (they tell themselves). However, the reality is different.

Virtual flirting is a clear betrayal and the reasons are as follows:

With digital infidelity, We completely violate the principle of trust.A part of us knows that this flirting, that those sexual messages could hurt the other person if they knew. Infidelity does not exclusively mean sexually betraying the partner. It involves seeking intimacy in another person other than the one with whom we have a commitment. Intentions have as much implication as the actions themselves.

Now, studies such as those carried out at Northcentral University (California) show us something interesting. Emotional infidelity is considered much more serious than online sexual infidelity. In addition, Men, on average, view digital infidelity less seriously than women.

The self-esteem problem as a trigger for digital infidelity

When this exchange of likescomments and intimate conversations, most people do not seek to cheat on their partner. The purpose is not sex or betrayal as such.

What exists, in reality, is the desire for new experiences, the adrenaline rush, the reinforcement of self-esteem, the search for furtive emotion giving excitement to a moment of the day.

The profile of the digital infidel is someone with low self-esteem who needs quick reinforcementWe cannot forget that there are countless portals and applications that are enriched precisely with this type of needs. Emotional problems are business for large Internet companies.Where am I in the current dating market? Another reason why digital flirting is practiced is to know if one still has “potential.” Am I still attractive? If you didn’t have a partner now, could you find another one quickly? We just have to go to certain pages or try our luck on social networks to find out.The digital universe is simpler than the real world. This is, without a doubt, another obvious issue: the online world moves at a different pace, has other rules and everything is more stimulating and, above all, faster. We sign up for certain applications to search for something specific, we join groups with similar tastes… All this prevents us from wasting time, browsing anonymously and getting what we want in a short time.

To conclude, the times of Sex, lies and video tapes that Steven Soderbergh brought us in that famous film from the 90s have completely changed. Sex is now possible in another type of scenario, video tapes have given way to mobile phones and lies, however, are still falsehoods that hurt and break relationships.

You might be interested…