Damn, I gave myself up again

One day I made a promise to myself: “I wouldn’t give myself to a love the same way I gave myself that time”. Yes, the one that one day made me sleep from crying and the same one that brought me so many delicious smiles. But after everything I’ve been through, it wasn’t worth loving someone like that anymore.

I needed to love myself first so I could share a little bit of that love with someone else. I think I made it, I’m so proud of myself for that, you know… After all I’ve struggled to forget, I’ve finally managed to complete myself and love myself enough.

Little did I know that I was being completely foolish to think that I would be enough for good. Despite knowing that I don’t depend on anyone for anything and that my dreams and desires complete themselves, it’s much more pleasant to be able to share all this with someone.

And so after loving myself so much, you arrived parachuting and messing everything around here. And along with this very tasty mess, it made a feeling grow that I didn’t even remember anymore and that I thought I would never be able to feel it. You showed me that someone loves me besides me, it was on that good morning that Monday that you showed me that someone still cares about me and that now I have someone to leave me at home after my drinking and who doesn’t want me to stop to get drunk and smoke on Fridays.

You tell me it’s okay and you want me even with all my flaws. And then on a Thursday after a stressful day between work and college, before going to sleep you tell me that you miss me and that if you lived closer you would have come to pet me so I could sleep peacefully. And after that I would answer without even thinking twice that I would give anything to have that cuddle right now.

And so I noticed that – damn i gave myself up again – I love you.

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