A letter to the man I chose to marry

Dear Future Husband,

I want you, I want all of you. I want to look into your eyes when I wake up every day and every night before I go to sleep.

I want to lie beside you in bed and snuggle in the warmth of your arms during the winters. I want to feel his arms around me, caressing me as I drift off to sleep. I want you to wake me up in the middle of the night just to say you were dreaming about me.

I want you, I want all of you. I want to know the little details of your life. I want to know who told you what, who made you feel what, what you saw on the way to work, and what you thought while biting into that sandwich for lunch. I want you to share every detail of your life, until it becomes mine. All this, until it fills me up – my body, soul and mind.

I want the safety of your arm as my blanket. And I want the freedom of our travels. I want to feel the smooth skin and the sooty scent of your body against mine. I want to feel your eyelashes flicker against my face as you fall asleep.

All this and more, until your life becomes mine and mine is yours.

I want to carry the warm, invisible mark on me – the mark that says I am a woman taken, possessed in her entirety. That I am a conquered woman.

A woman who finally, willingly, gave her life at the feet of happiness. That I was touched so deeply that no other contact matters.

I want you to laugh at my jokes, no matter how bad they are. I want you to share your dreams and your fears, your likes and dislikes, the things you love and the things that fill you with wonder. And I want to take them and make them mine, until I practically see through your eyes.

You know… I was a woman who kept an untouched, hidden part of the world. I was once a woman who tried to hide in frivolous, indifferent and distant feelings. I was a woman who didn’t appreciate the full intensity of love. I once ran away from all that.

No more. Not with you.

Today I want to give you my all and more. Today I want to be with you. Today I’m yours. Today I’m you.

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