Couples without sex: a growing phenomenon

The number of sexless couples appears to have increased worldwide. Many want to live their sexuality in a broader and less phallocentric way, while for others this could be a sign of distancing themselves and others.

There is no doubt that sexuality is one of those aspects that has undergone great changes in recent times. In general, they are positive, since Currently there are fewer taboos, more acceptance of diversity and greater freedom to experiment. However, one of the realities that has emerged or, at least, has become more visible is sexless couples.

We talk about couples without sex when there is a total absence of relationships sexual activity or a minimal presence thereof. According to various studies, this seems to be a growing phenomenon, although it is not clear if it is rather a reality that is beginning to become noticeable now, but has existed for a long time.

“Eroticism, that triumph of dream over nature, is the refuge of the spirit of poetry, because it denies the impossible.”.

-Emmanuelle Arsan-

When we talk about couples without sex we are referring to those who by decision own abstain from sexual relations. Now, this category does not include those who have dysfunctions that prevent them from having sex. That is precisely what is striking about the phenomenon: it is a deliberately chosen form of relationship. Let’s dig deeper.

Couples without sex in the world

The Cambridge Center in Massachusetts is one of the pioneers in the study of this phenomenon. An investigation was carried out there in 2014 in which they sought to establish the number of sexual relations that stable couples had per month. At the end, your data They noted that up to 20% of Americans were in sexless couples.

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A little later, a similar study was carried out. Those in charge were the experts of MyWord and focused on the Spanish. According to the conclusions drawn from the data collected, around 10.6% of Spaniards were in couples without sex.

To date, there are no other studies completed in different parts of the world. However, It is known that in countries like Japan the interest in sex it is very low. In fact, there are figures that speak of a significant number of people who are over 30 years old and have not yet had their first sexual relations.

Normal or abnormal?

This is one of the questions that arise as soon as we talk about some behavior that does not fit within the majority. At the same time, it is a question that is not relevant. In the human world the normal or abnormal is only a matter of statistics. Nothing more than that.

Sexuality is, or at least should be, a terrain for the free expression of personality. Whatever two adults freely agree to is always fine. The key is in those two words: agreement and free. You both have to feel comfortable with your choices and neither of you should feel or be pressured.

The greater sexual freedom of our times has brought with it a greater questioning of sexuality. Before, it was virtually not possible to choose anything. Sex was so standardized that the only problem was adapting to the established parameters. Nowadays the question about sexuality involves many more aspects.

The reductionist view of sex

Added to the above is the fact that we now also have a much broader concept of sexuality. We know that intercourse is just one of the ways to experience it. We have also understood that each human being is different and while some express a very intense sexuality, others need more eroticism than genitalia.

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Almost all experts agree that couples without sex can also have a satisfying and happy relationship.. They are couples who build spaces of intimacy in another way. Just because they don’t have sex doesn’t mean they don’t have physical contact either. Simply put, for some couples the sexual relationship is decisive. For others not. Although some are the majority and others the minority, none is “abnormal,” at least in the derogatory sense of that word.

However, Can the lack of sex in a couple become a problem? The answer is yes. This happens, obviously, when one of the two does not agree with this situation. Also when couples without sex do not develop other types of physical contact or when this condition is accompanied by indifference, boredom or lack of mutual interest. In these cases, the absence of sexual relations is a sign that there is a great distance between the two.