Children who do not love their parents, why?

Reciprocal love between children and parents seems to be a truth that is taken for granted. However, that is not the case. There are children who do not love their parents and this does not constitute a pathology, nor does it mean that it is typical of “denaturalized beings.” It is a reality that is forged in certain circumstances.

Talking about children who do not love their parents is something that should not be taken literally. Unless there is some limitation or deficiency, children always bond with their parents through affection; What does not always happen is that these affects are positive.but feelings of hatred, resentment and, of course, also indifference can prevail.

Sometimes it is also the case that apparently there are children who do not love their parents, but What actually happens is that affection is repressed or inhibited. This means that it is not expressed, or manifests itself inadequately, but it is present. Why and how does this come about?

Children who do not love their parents due to the mirror effect

One of the reasons why there are children who do not love their parents is the so-called mirror effect. It occurs when the parents have not shown affection to the children. It is common for children to learn to relate to their parents in this way as well: coldly..

In these cases, what there is is a lack that blocks or limits emotional development. The father, consciously or unconsciously, establishes a break in the relationship with his son: “don’t go any further than this.” He conveys the idea that the bond should not include affection, but should be limited to a functional and practical relationship.

Under these conditions, it is most likely that the child will not learn to relate to the world through affection. He gives what he has received: indifference. This cuts off an important dimension of her being. It could be said that it is one of the circumstances in which love is inhibited, but it is not non-existent..

Abandonment and its levels

Another reason why there are children who do not love their parents is abandonment.. When it is absolute, there is not even the possibility of exploring the link. What is common in these cases is that the absent father is idealized or that he is rejected in response to the rejection that is received.

However, abandonment does not only refer to cases where one or both parents are not present. There is also abandonment when, even living with the child, they are not interested in him and delegate his upbringing to third parties.. Likewise, when they do not offer their support at crucial moments.

In these cases, children feel that their parents have failed them in something fundamental. This generates the idea of ​​not being able to count on them, as well as distrust and distance. It is very common for this to transform into heartbreak over time, especially if this abandonment is systematic..

Being victims of parents

In some cases, there are children who do not love their parents because they have been their victims. Generally, this has to do with situations of abuse, whether emotional, physical or sexual.. Such situations have caused great damage and have left scars that prevent the development of a healthy emotional bond with parents.

When a child learns to see his father as an aggressor, the emotion that is sown is hatred.. This can be deaf or explicit. The usual thing is that in children there is confusion and anger; As they grow up, these emotions transform into strong rejection, for which they also often feel guilty.

A human being learns to love himself and others based on that primary bond he has with his parents.. There is never too much love that can be given to a child, because with every smile, with every hug, with every show of interest, the path is being cleared for them to advance in life. Silences, distances and mistreatment decisively hinder this progress.

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