Children and stepparents: 8 tips to avoid conflicts in the family

Children’s jealousy is common and expected when a new figure enters the family.Com dialoguethe mother needs to introduce them to the stranger who is going to enter family life.

“It is important to say that the stepdad is not a father substitute“, explains psychologist Rosa Macedo, from PUC-SP. The mother must show her children that she is a woman and has the right to a partner. Important: the guidelines are the same when the new member is the stepmother.

Below, check out some tips from the psychologist:

1. Assume the relationship for the children and show the advantages, such as financial and emotional support and security.

two. Separate the roles of mother and wife. Mother’s obligations are the same.

3. Emphasize that the stepfather will not replace the father and do not demand that the children kiss and hug him right away. just ask respect and patience the children.

4. Reversing the situation can also work. Ask the child how he would react if his mother or father wanted to choose his girlfriend or wife.

5. At first, the stepfather must remain exempt and only palpitate in the education of the children with the permission of the mother. He will only be released to give orders and advice directly to young people when he has the trust of his children.

6. The mother should avoid the intermediary position as much as possible. If the child is being naughty, don’t use the “So-and-so doesn’t like it!” formula. Give the proper order directly to the children.

7. If problems are already happening, it is necessary to bring the family together. This is where the stepfather must place himself as someone who wants to help🇧🇷

8. If the case is too complicated, look for professional orientation🇧🇷 Several universities offer free family therapy services.

Real story

Cleaning assistant Simone Regina Pinto, 37 years old, had to deal with the rejection of children by their stepfather, Juca, as soon as they reached adolescence.

“When the children started to grow up, jealousy took the place of peace and we lived with fights and endless lies🇧🇷, she reports. One of Regina’s daughters even invented that her stepfather had sexually abused her. Already one of the children, she said that she had seen her mother’s husband with another woman!

The lies didn’t shake Regina, but they turned her family against Juca and ended up separating the couple for two years.

Today, older, the children have learned to respect their stepfather. “I hope they understand that a mother’s love is irreplaceable. Nonetheless, I also want to be happy with the man I love.”