It’s hard to hold back the feeling of anxiety when he knocks on the door. It’s like putting a chocolate pie in front of you and telling you not to eat, just watch. There’s no way to have that emotional control. In fact, it even has, but a good part of society cannot.

That feeling always knocks once, twice, three times and four times on the door, and by then, you’re already inviting him to come in, sit down and have a cup of coffee. And if he “pleases” you, you tell him to lie down with you in bed and spend hours awake thinking about a bunch of non-existent nonsense and, of course, counting the time left to get up and go to work. In short, a night awake out of pure paranoia.

When you get to that point, it’s no use putting the broom behind the door if the visitor doesn’t leave. There’s no way, she’s a lean and loose. Lie on your couch, grab the remote and send you to get a cold beer. And you go!

I don’t know about you, but I always try some tricks to get around this feeling, which in most cases is in vain. I put on some loud music to distract my thoughts and not listen to them, but when I watch I’m listening to Sam Smith or Adele crying because of some paranoia I made up, because don’t forget, it comes along with anxiety.

After suffering for nothing, I feel relieved, and I try to take a walk in the park. When I least expect it, I’m lying under a tree thinking about my crush. My finger itches, my head boils and when I see it I’m already sending one message after another without patience to wait for the visualization. And then, that beautiful blue sky starts to turn gray and the look turns to that of X-Man’s Storm. It’s a crazy thing.

Waiting is a word that is not in the vocabulary of the anxious person. It is very difficult to control this. In the meantime, and it may be short or long, we invent and create fights in our minds. We start to think that he doesn’t like us, that we’ve done something wrong… And really, it’s nothing.