Blocking or deleting people: the cold strategy to end relationships

Have you used any of these strategies to end a relationship? In this article we tell you when it is useful and when it is not so useful.

We have all, in some way, used the “block or delete friends” button on our social networks. Sometimes it is hygienic and even necessary. However, it is no longer so when it becomes the cold strategy to end an emotional relationship or friendship. Just one is enough click to disappear, to establish distance and silence without having to give any explanation.

Social networks, whether we like it or not, are often a reflection of our real lives. Furthermore, in each like, in each written word or published photo a touch of our personality is printed. These virtual algorithms are reflections of our essence and behavior. The developers know it and we know it. Therefore, Nothing that happens in these scenarios is coincidental.

Eliminating people on social networks is a growing trend, but with this virtual strategy many also seek to end significant and close relationships.

So, The phenomenon of “unfriend”, not a friend or person that we choose to delete or block from our social network, is something that is increasingly studied. by psychologists and creators of these computer worlds. The reason? Since the “unfollow” button was created on Facebook in 2009, its use has only grown. These platforms not only mimic the same social phenomena that surround us. Furthermore, they are changing the way we relate to each other.

Let’s see more data below.

In recent years, the behavior of Facebook or Twitter users is changing. We could say that, in some way, we are maturing. Nowadays, having many friends is no longer valued so much.. That common line from a while ago where we accumulated hundreds of friends on social networks is ending. This is seen especially in people over 30 years old, who want to give their social networks a more serious and professional use.

Block and delete friends: end significant relationships with a single click

We already know that, on average, we seek to reduce contacts in these cyberneighborhoods to have the same balance as in real life. Something that at first may seem positive to us is actually not so positive. The reason for this is the following: often, We integrate the same actions that are carried out in that virtual world into real life.

Thus, there is no shortage of those who, after a disagreement with a co-worker, choose to block or delete those people from their social networks. Others do the same with their friends. Even more, This dynamic is happening more and more on an emotional level. It is part of that other phenomenon known as ghosting. Let’s remember, this is a practice where someone leaves their partner without saying a word or giving any explanation. Thus, in addition to the silence, what the other person will perceive almost immediately is that he no longer appears on social networks or in the contacts of her (ex) partner.

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There are those who assume that by removing someone from these virtual worlds, they will also magically disappear in everyday life. Perhaps they think that the other party will quickly give up and understand that action. However, what these practices give rise to, such as ghosting, It is suffering. The victims are suspended in an emotional limbo where it is very difficult to give shape to grief and the assumption of that end.

Now, no matter how desperate and immature these behaviors may seem to us, there is something important to reflect on. We should not blame technology. Nor to the creators and developers of those social networks that we use daily. What these virtual scenarios do is reflect once again the difficulty of communication so inherent in human beings.

Block or delete people in a click it makes life easier. It’s fast, it’s harmless to whoever executes it, and best of all, it avoids seeing the other person face to face to say something. “I do not love you anymore”“I’m not interested in you” or “I don’t want you in my life for these reasons.” Human beings and their ability to communicate effectively have always had cracks. Now, with technology we are creating even bigger gaps.

Let’s learn to deal with our problems in person. Because The delete button on our mobile devices, after all, does not solve most of life’s conflicts.

What to do if our loved ones block or delete us?

The journalist and writer Lucía Martín recommends:

“At the outset, don’t question yourself (unless you have really screwed up and are aware of it, of course). And I think that above all what we have to do is recover the way of meeting people that we had before the networks: going out on the street and flirting in other environments.”

Questioning oneself is the most common reaction in people who suffer this abrupt way of ending a relationship. Thus, We question what we have done wrong, what we have said or why it disappeared. Instead, the first thing we should think about is that their attitude says more about the person in question than about ourselves.

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Second, We must allow ourselves to feel the pain, the disappointment, the shame, or whatever we are feeling at the moment. The third step is to talk to someone close to us to give us support and comfort. Talking about our feelings and thoughts has been shown to help work through painful experiences.

Finally, We should focus on our self-care, such as: eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising. They are vital to managing pain. Other alternatives are yoga, meditation and mindfulness. Since they reduce the production of stress hormones in the body and can even restructure some neural connections associated with pain.