Believing that you are not enough

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Surely at some point you have thought that you were not enough, for a job, for a person or in general. Here we explain what you can do to turn it around.

In today’s society we are encouraged, and Sometimes we are almost required to be perfect, efficient, happy, empathetic, to give our best.…An infinite number of skills that, in the end, lead us to a life full of pressure and frustration. This also pushes many people to feel incapable, believing that they are not enough.

What’s more, regardless of the demands set by the environment, many people constantly feel that they do not reach the level expected by others or by themselves.

This feeling is related to low self-esteem, since they have a model in their heads of what would be ideal that is quite far from the self-concept they have of themselves. Nevertheless, that means be enough?

When we don’t feel enough

Those who feel that they are not enough may feel it in one area of their life, in several, or in all of them. However, generally, the feeling continuously accompanies most vital spheres.

So, that feeling limits behavior. For example, a person who believes that he is not enough thinks that her opinion is worthless or that she is likely to be wrong, so he will not give his opinion. Or, he will not have or will not fight for his goals, since he considers that he lacks the skills to achieve them.

Likewise, she will think that she is not nice, attractive or fun enough, and she will live with the fear of disappointing and not being liked by others.

Read Also: Self-esteem and ego, which one are we left with?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Believing that you are not enough gives rise to an absence of confidence that underlies a multitude of behaviors, thoughts or attitudes.: thinking that a criticism made to us is personal, feeling envious of what others have or achieve, consenting to or overlooking disrespect, beating ourselves up internally and constantly criticizing ourselves, etc.

imposter syndrome

Related to believing that you are not enough, there is a psychological phenomenon called imposter syndrome. People who suffer from this syndrome live in fear of being discovered as a fraud.. That is, they achieve a series of achievements and think that they may have obtained them by luck, coincidence, or by making others believe that they are more capable than they are.

Therefore, they think that they are not good enough to have achieved something and are afraid of being found out.

This syndrome is not recognized as a mental disorder today. However, there is a lot of research on the topic.

Although there are no conclusive data, It is estimated that 7 out of 10 people have suffered from it at some point in their working career., and this is the area where it most often occurs. And despite this, people who suffer from it believe that they are the only ones in their circle who feel this way.

What to do at this time?

When a person believes that they are not enough, their anxiety levels increase. and their mood is compromised: the negative goes deeper and the positive remains on the surface.

Read Also: What we lose when our father dies

In this psychological environment, the person usually chooses two paths: living as a victim or in an obsession with achieving perfection. However, there is always a third way: work to accept and value yourself.

In these cases, a psychologist can be a valuable help. On the other hand, on a personal level, in these circumstances we could consider:

Think Where do those thoughts come from? and identify which areas they affect. Once identified, consider What are the differences between what we think and what we are. That is to say, feeling that you are not enough is not the same as actually being enough. You should think about all the achievements you have achieved. A very useful exercise is think and imagine what consequences arise from thinking that we are not enough. This task can help you have a better image of yourself and start making small behavioral changes that make a difference.

In short, focusing on what we could be instead of valuing what we already are is a condition or a temptation that we have all had to negotiate.

Therefore, it is important to learn to love yourself, understand that, like others, We have our insecurities, but they do not determine our worth staff.

Thus, although sometimes we make mistakes, satisfaction and learning are within us, and that is the key to our own well-being.